The Journals
by Everleigh Allen
Summary: Bella stumbles upon a seemingly empty building trying to escape a storm and finds herself in a library of of old books and journals. The journals tell the story of EAMC who lives a life of solitude. M, AU, Cannon coupling.
1. Chapter 1

The Masen-Cullen Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 1

October, 2019

Autumn in Chicago wasn't as bad as Bella Swan thought.

'The Sound of Silence' by Disturbed played in her ears as whips of leaves danced in whirlwinds from the breeze. It made them look like small woodland sprites, dancing just for her and anyone else who happened to notice them.

That made her smile.

She watched the leafy sprites travel down the street for a moment before they faded into the piles of rotten leaves that were bogged down by the muddy gutters. She could almost see the other dry leaves trying to reach and catch the wind before they were soaked with the morning rain.

A bright yellow car drove down the road quickly and again, the leaves happily took flight, dancing behind it while the others were crushed in their place.

Bella knew how that felt.

She knew how crushing life could be.

It was an escape of sorts.

At sixteen years old, Bella's mother noticed a man that resembled a baseball player she once saw on television. Renee said she would only be gone for a few minutes, but her mother left her waiting at the carousel at the Arizona County Fair.

It was sticky hot and so was the guy she had to bum a ride off of to get home.

A week later, two plane tickets sat on the kitchen table. One was for Bella to go to Washington to live with her father, Charlie Swan.

The other was for Renee Higginbotham to Florida.

There wasn't any question on whether or not Bella was invited on Renee's next adventure.

She wasn't.

Bella took a taxi to Sky Harbor Airport, checked her bags and got through security without anyone really noticing her presence.

She was just another face in the crowd.

A police escort greeted her in Seattle, though.

Charlie Swan stood by the baggage claim looking as threatening as one could in full riot gear.

All he was missing was his asp and k-9 companion.

"Where's Zeus?" Bella smirked at her dad before giving him a one armed hug.

"At home waiting for you, of course."

"Aww," Bella frowned before grabbed the handle of her luggage.

"Yep," He's almost as happy as I am to see you."

Bella swallowed back the bit of emotion that lodged in her throat. "I'm happy to see you, too."

"She lasted longer than I thought she would." Charlie whispered as they got into the police SUV. "I have to give her that."

"I know," Bella nodded. It didn't take the hurt away and that hurt was something that both she and her father felt deeply. "Doesn't take away the sting."

"Yep."

And that was that.

Bella remembered high school as nothing more than a blur of studying and dates at the local diner with her father. She didn't really seem to fit in with the kids that seemed to know each other their whole lives, nor did she really try either.

Perhaps it would've been different if she grew up with them, too, but alas.

As soon as Bella graduated high school she took the college scholarship for Chicago. She missed Charlie, but he had his dog and a new budding romance with a widow named Sue.

It made it easier to leave.

Looking up at the Chicago sky, Bella Swan couldn't believe that the universe would add rain to an already horrible day.

Her long, dark hair that lay over her shoulders was quickly saturated in rainwater and the tendrils she painstakingly straightened were quickly recoiling back into their normal curl.

A sharp wind hit her as a car drove by, too close the curb and sent a wash of sewer water straight for her. She barely made it out of the way of the back tires by ducking into an alleyway that seemed to be forgotten from the street.

It was filled with overgrown vines that had small flowers that had yet to succumb to the fall but it wasn't the romantic kind of vines that one would see bordering enchanted pathways in small Italian villa. No this one, Bella learned, was the kind with razor sharp barbs that tore you apart if you happened to be on the wrong side of them.

Which Bella was, of course.

They pulled at her hair and jacket as she fought for her release when she noticed a large, old wooden door with intricate figures. It detailed into a scene that she couldn't quite place but recalled seeing before.

Bella looked toward the street, and saw the vines swaying innocently with the rain filled gusts. She didn't know how she got so far away from the street. Perhaps it was when she was fighting the vines, but she quickly decided there must be a better way back to the main road if she went through the side door. She tried the handle and was relieved when she pulled back the heavy door with a grunt and swung open with Bella attached to it. She was immersed into complete darkness.

The smell hit her first. It was the smell of aged books, oiled paintings, parchment, and ink that swirled around with the musk of the old building.

A gust of wind hit her back as the door swung back open in a rush, trying to escape into the late afternoon storms. Bella quickly turned to shut it, leaving her again in the dark.

Pulling out her phone for a light, Bella did a quick search of her location, but came up with nothing. The whole building seemed to have been left off the map. She didn't know how it was possible.

Taking a look around with the help of her phone, Bella could tell she was alone in a vast space. The walls were lined in wall to ceiling shelves of books with wobbly ladders that seemed to reach to the heavens when she looked up while antiquated chairs were strategically placed around the cold, empty fireplace. Bella eyes quickly became accustomed to the warm ambient light that filtered in from high stained glass windows.

Bella felt a rush of air push past her so she grabbed the wood banister tightly to right herself. When she looked back up she could see candle lights popping to life, seemingly on their own. Stained glass windows arched several stories high, making her wonder if the building used to be a church at one point. She made a mental note to look online for old, abandoned churches of Chicago.

There were thin catwalk like walkways that marked each floor and stairs cleverly hidden behind another row of books under the stained glass. Bella took to the stairs, each step creaking with the sudden weight.

She moved as quietly as she could, hearing the roar of thunder with the cracks of lightning outside. There was no way she was going to venture out there now. She could hear the waves of rain pounding the roof of the masonry building and quickly sat on one of the two old wood and leather chairs that were perched to look over the railing.

She couldn't fathom how such heavy chairs got up so high.

Bella didn't notice that a fire was quickly warming in the fireplace downstairs as she looked at the leather bound books that were unlabeled. She plucked one from the shelf and opened it.

_Chicago, Illinois_

_September 1__st__, 1918_

_Mother invited her ladies over for tea. I was opposed to the idea, strictly based on the idea that it could be possible one of them could be ill and not yet be aware but mother disagreed, choosing a tea that would only help the calm their ailments. _

_I stayed in the den for time when one of mother's friends wandered into the room looking for the water closet since our home was one of the few that had such luxuries. I distinctly remember the sound of her retching just before she tried to give me soft smiles and a cool touch. _

_She was not amused when I didn't share her affections._

_I opened my tin of dried mint leaves and offered her one, confident that it would help with the stench of her breath._

_She refused._

_-EAM_

Bella giggled and closed the journal, looking over it as if it was a treasure.

On the front page in she saw the distinct writing:

.

_The Journals_  
_Volume Three_

_1918_

_._

Bella adjusted her spot on the chair and curled her legs underneath her before she opened the journal up again and read:

_September 5__th__, 1918_

_Mother decided it would be best if I courted the daughter of Melissa Morgan from down the street. It does not seem to matter that her affections lie in child-like adoration and not a viable companion for romance. Pay no mind that I lack any of the attributes that she would find pleasing since I am not a daring prince on a steed like that of her fairy stories._

_Mother laughed joyfully upon mounting me on the steward's steed. Perhaps she didn't need the carriage and wanted the amusement._

_I decided to play along, of course, as I always do, and took the steed to the corner store for some sugar, eggs, and flour. Might come of use since more of the neighbors are falling ill to the flu and rations will soon get low. I know that mother already sent four baskets of fruit, teas, and breads to help ease them. _

_-EAM_

_._

Bella took a sharp breath in, seeing her birthdate in E's elegant writing over a hundred years past.

.

_September 13__th__, 1918_

_I called for the doctor today. He should be here within the hour. Father succumbed to the flu the night before last and I fear her heart cannot take the heavy loss of the great love they shared. _

_I cannot help but be by her side, risking my health for these last few moments with my mother. _

_Seeing her unwell has hurt me to my core. I cannot fathom life without my beloved parents._

_-EAM_

_._

_The doctor just left. _

_The way he looked at me set my nerves on end. Perhaps he knows more than he said though I cannot figure out the intense, brief conversation between him and my mother. _

_He wouldn't share the conversation and said that I need to call him once I start feeling feverish._

_I didn't tell him that I already was unwell. _

_-EAM_

_._

_September 21__st__, 1918_

_Today will be my last entry. I fear my body has finally succumbed and everything hurts. It hurts to write and hurts to even think. I know I will soon be at peace and with my parents. My only regret was that I didn't get to see to courting a lady, not that it matters much now. _

_I should have thought more kindly to the widow, Melissa Morgan and her daughter. _

_They have also perished. _

_I have sent for the good doctor but fear it's too late._

_-EAM_

.

Bella wiped the tear from her cheek as she thumbed through the rest of the book but there were only empty pages. She put it back on the shelf with the others like it. Her heart couldn't take reading anything more.

"Hello there," A tinkling voice called from the staircase and Bella met the small woman's eyes in apology. She knew she was trespassing and invading the space but until that moment, she couldn't find it in her to care.

"Hello," Bella mustered a small smile as another tear fell over her face. How she could feel so quickly for a stranger was a new feeling for her.

"Hi," She smiled. "I'm Alice. Can I help you? Are you lost?" Alice's soft voice flowed through the air like a melody breaking Bella's concentration of the vast space.

"Yes, I suppose I am. It was pouring outside and I was seeking refuge," Bella gave an apologetic smile to curb the sudden embarrassment. "I'm sorry if I'm trespassing. I happened here on accident."

"Hmm," Alice, with her dark hair curled into a 1920's bob that framed her delicate features, stared at Bella for what seemed like forever even though it was mere seconds. "With the winds in Chicago, is anything ever really on accident?"

Bella could think of a thousand things involving her that were accidentals but instead she answered, "I suppose not."

"Well, welcome to the library of our home. Take your time and have a look around while I make some tea. Can I take your wet coat?"

Bella nodded moved out of her coat happily and handed it to Alice.

She gave Bella a small grin which didn't meet her dark eyes.

"Go make new friends with the books; I think they've waited long enough. I will come find you soon."

"Thank you, Alice."

Alice gave another soft smile before she made her way down the stairs.

Bella didn't notice the gust of air that brushed past her so quickly it made the candle light dance. If she had, she would have realized she wasn't as alone as she thought.

With her eyes closed, Bella grasped another leather bound book of the shelf and opened it up.

.

**A/N: Yep. A brand new fic. **

**I've been sitting on this for a while and it won't let go til it's made its way to you. It isn't going to be Beta'd so there will be mistakes. My apologies. I'll try to fix them as much as I can as we go along. You should know this isn't going to be all journal entries, but the first several chapters will be. It will also be more of Edward's story, M, AU, and cannon coupling.**


	2. Chapter 2

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 2

Bella grasped the leather bound book and opened it back up.

It was full of sketches; a study of the local flowers, herbs, trees and animals. Very rarely, there was a scene with a building or a person in it but when she came across them, Bella ran her fingers over the thick ink.

It reminded her of Indigo Ink she had in her life drawing class.

Bella thumbed through the pictures until she found a page with writing.

.

_May 5__th__, 1917_

_Mother is having tea in the garden now that the weather is more favorable.  
She invited many of the ladies from her sewing club and a few from her reading club for the luncheon. Many of them I could hardly recognize under their large hats and obnoxious laughter.  
I usually close myself off in the study on such occasions, but Mother gave our housekeeper Mae the day off and I was left to task. _

_I was in the kitchen placing the small cakes and tarts on the platter that Mother left. It was one of my favorite desserts so we knew the guests would enjoy them, as well. I may have saved a few for myself._

_That is when I first noticed her._

_Mrs. Crawford was shapely and attractive for a mature woman. She had a pleasant smile and laughed at all the right moments. She was social with the other ladies but I noticed her eyes darted around the greenery as if she was looking for something. I couldn't see what she saw, but she soon excused herself from the rest of the group. _

_She made her way to the house and stopped just inside the porch, right outside from I was standing in the kitchen but I don't think she noticed me. I watched as she fingered her tightly pinned red hair, making sure it was secure before she sat down on the swinging bench. She seemed to be making sure she was away from view, or so she thought. She took several moments swaying back and forth and looking from the ladies at the table and then at the tree line before she bent forward and lifted her skirts, exposing her ankle and then her leg. _

_I was in shock._

_One of the tea cakes was mush in my hand when I saw her bosom squished unto her knees and overflowed for the slightest moment before she pushed the breast back into her top. _

_I noticed that her stocking fell down to her ankle. Perhaps it was wrong, but I couldn't help but watch as she fumbled under her skirts until she pulled the silk up her leg to secure it to the garter. _

_I felt my body flush warmly, not for Mrs. Crawford, but the idea of what the female form was like under their dresses._

_In my haste to run upstairs, I forgot to bring out the dessert but licked the one ruined off my palm before my virility stiffened on its volition and emanated._

_EAM-_

.

Bella giggled. She wondered what it must have been like to live back then in a time when women still had tea and cakes in the garden. She imagined EAM tripping over his own feet trying to make it up the stairs and into the water closet to cleanse himself from his ruined pants.

"Here's your tea." Alice whispered. "I didn't want to interrupt you as you seemed to enjoying the journal.

"Thank you, I am enjoying it. Do you happen to know who wrote it?"

"I do." Alice nodded with a smile.

"Will you share his name?" Bella scoffed, running her hand over the dark leather in a caress. The motion wasn't lost on Alice.

"I could, but where's the fun in that?" She giggled as a crack of lightning lit the stained glass windows and the room. "The sun went down while you were reading and the storm isn't letting up any time soon. I was curious if anyone was expecting you at home?"

Bella worried her lip with her teeth. She didn't realize that she had sat for so long and let the day get away from her. She knew Chicago streets at night weren't necessarily the safest bet for anyone, especially a woman alone. But she wasn't looking forward to the empty apartment, either.

"Well," Alice smiled softly when Bella didn't answer. "You're more than welcome to stay here for as long as you'd like. It's much safer than being out alone in the storm. I'll go start on something for you to eat. Don't let your tea get cold." She tapped on the teacup twice with her finger before handing the cup and saucer off to Bella. She set a small silver tray on the side table next to the leather chair.

Bella couldn't remember the table being there before but she couldn't recall if it wasn't already there, either.

"Thank you," Bella whispered. Alice gave a curt nod before she moved out of the space and back down the stairs.

Bella brought the cup to her lips and took a sip of the tea. She smiled. It was sweetened perfectly and she adored the feeling of warmth as it moved through her and into her empty stomach. Bella's eyes brightened as she noticed a small frosted cake hidden behind the tea cup. She looked back at the journal and then to the cake before shaking the apprehension away. Biting into the sugary cake was ambrosia for the soul and she couldn't help the moan that slipped from her lips. She squished a bit of the cake in her fingers and licked the frosting off, much like she imagined EAM did.

With her cake quickly finished and settling nicely in her stomach, Bella opened the journal and thumbed through another few pages of plant studies and a many pages of musical notes without the lyrics.

She imagined it was music that EAM randomly created in his spare time. When she got to another entry, she took another sip of tea and read.

.

_August 28__th__, 1918 _

_Today was the last day of my classical piano lessons outside the home for the foreseeable future. _

_My instructor has succumbed to the Spanish flu as have many others associated with Miss Bradley. Each one of her students was either sick or have perished since we were notified of her death. Mother keeps an eye on me and although I feel fine, we cannot help but worry. _

_Mae has made soups each day for the past few weeks before the meal and if I never see soup again, I would be content. _

_My private lessons at school have also been suspended. _

_EAM-_

Bella frowned. She thumbed through another few pages. There was a sketch of a squirrel hiding a nut in the ground and several other flowers EAM said reminded him of his mother. Bella recognized it easily as a wild geranium. It was light with striking reddish veins_._

_September 8__th__, 1918_

_My father and I are not close and as these few moments pass between us and the fact that he is unwell doesn't sit well with me at all. _

_Mother was on him for weeks to take leave at the office when his colleagues first became ill. Her reasoning of having plenty to live on and to keep ourselves comfortable was in truth but he disagrees. His first love has always been with the law and his heart sits in his office. _

_I say that openly and without malice. _

_It was my Gran, his mother, who first said there is a jar with his heart in it on his desk. It was all in jest. Father never seemed interested in integrating with our family and if he did it was through temper and intimidation or silence. I always imagine these moments are when he had an overly taxing case and the slim possibility to remain indifferent is his way to of coping. _

_Although, it bothers Mother when he keeps long hours and an empty seat at our table, to me it was oft a blessing. After all, the toleration of our shared presence is reciprocated._

_On the days he is home, relaxed, and in a favorable mood, the interactions between us are mostly amiable. We chat about school and my plans for college. _

_Those moments are few._

_I don't mention my dreams of becoming a soldier. _

_And as I sit in the window seat across from my parent's room, I can't help but feel for my mother. She is distraught, in pain at the thought of losing my father. _

_I noticed her rush to father as he stood at the entrance of our home yesterday. He had barely made it from the carriage to the door. I never saw him look so poorly. He said he just needed to rest, but I knew better. He was pale and his eyes seemed darker than when he left for work that morning. He looked like many of the men coming home from the War.  
Perhaps he was sick for a while and it's showing now, but I cannot know for sure. _

_What I do know is that the Spanish Influenza is in our home and taking another soul. _

_EAM-_

.

"How sad," Bella whispered to no one in particular. The thunder and lightning had calmed and all that could be heard was the crackling of the fire and the steady rain hitting the glossy windows.

It was then she felt slightly odd sitting in someone else's home having a cup of tea and cake while a stranger made her dinner.

In all her life she couldn't recall anyone being so kind with the exception of her father.

Bella swallowed.

She didn't want to think of her family.

Bella finished off the last of the tepid tea before she thumbed through the inky parchment for another entry that she hadn't already read.

.

_December 31__st__, 1918_

_._

Bella stared at the date.

Had EAM lived after all? Had he been one of the very few that survived the Spanish flu?

The crisp, elegant scroll confirmed that for Bella and she decided to read on.

_._

_December 31__st__, 1918_

_Tonight is the last night of a year from Hell and I couldn't be happier for it to end. _

_I am a monster without a soul destined to live on without my beloved parents. _

_Dr. Cullen adopted me right after the death of my parents and saw to it that the house stayed in my name. It was the only way to keep it and my trust, he says. It doesn't feel the same. It is a shell, a void. It is a reminder that I am as alone now as I was when I lived there. _

_My mother begged Dr. Carlisle Cullen to save me on her death bed. I don't understand how she could've known anything untoward about him, but she managed to seal him in a promise that he couldn't break. _

_I imagine that my mother wouldn't wish the Hell upon me had she known the truth. How could she know that I would burn from within? How could she know that vengeance would be my life? _

_The thoughts and voices never cease. _

_I cannot sleep or eat, and all I hear are the errant thoughts of people in all directions. It is a form of torture no one could fathom or wish upon another. _

_Christmas was spent with Carlisle in his home. We didn't exchange gifts; though he did go help in the soup kitchens while I stayed home and cut fire wood to give out to the newly widowed woman down the street._

_Carlisle decided that hunting would be a good idea since we plan on going out into public tonight to ring in the New Year. I agreed. He seems to think it is safe enough for me to be around other people now.  
I took down several white-tailed deer and a bobcat before I finally felt stated. Carlisle chose to go out further for the bison, but I don't find them palatable. _

_Hopefully, the New Year will bring some peace.  
EAMC-_

.

**A/N:  
*E isn't necessarily indifferent that his father is dying but he doesn't quite know how to react or put his feelings into words. His emotions on paper could be much different in person but we only know him through his journals at this point.  
*I know that in the books SM said that E Sr. died in the first wave of the flu. That would put him dying in March 1918 instead of Sept 1918 as I posted. I had thought he and his parents died around the same time, but research says that his father died much sooner than his mother and would go E soon after her. I like my way better as it suits the story.  
*Bella is also thumbing through the journal as it suits her. They will not be in sequential order and the whole story won't be journal entries. If you read my story, **_**Into the Woods**_**, Mrs. Crawford will be familiar as E's first noticeable reaction to a woman written in his journal. If you read that story, you know where I'm going with this one. (wink, wink)  
*Mrs. Crawford was looking around the tree line for an outhouse. Indoor plumbing was a luxury few had during that time. Some more well off homes had an indoor privy's and /or water closets (with a bowl and rags and soap to wash in, etc.) or outhouses. Lilacs were usually planted by and over the used outhouses to help with the smell. That's why homes that are over a hundred years old have many lilacs lining their property. They also planted lilacs to mark other things like placentas or the loss of a child.  
*The house Edward is journaling in is NOT the same house Bella is sitting in and reading. I'll be taking creative liberties on the "house" she is currently in as it is completely fictional.  
*Also, I've only been to Chicago once for the TFMU years ago and we didn't venture out much. On the one day we did, I had fallen behind the group to tie my shoe and Steve Carrell came out of the building. I gasped and pointed at him, saying "It's you!" and he pointed right back at me with a smile and said, "It's you!" back at me before he got into his awaiting car. It was a fun moment.  
*All respective disclaimers needed are implied as the characters belong to SM and I am just borrowing them for yet another alternate universe.  
*I plan on updating once or twice a week and usually on Monday or Tuesdays as those are my days off from painting. Thank you for reading. **


	3. Chapter 3

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 3

_January 1__st__, 1918_

_Carlisle was wrong. _

_Can a soul be redeemed? _

_It is a topic he and I vehemently debate as he thinks one's nature can be nurtured into something kind, loving and eventually deserving of redemption. _

_But he cannot perceive the vile thoughts of others so his argument is moot. _

_In the twilight hour, we dressed for the theater. There was a local thespian troop preforming and Carlisle was keen on seeing it now that he had a companion. _

_I was less than thrilled, but it was something to do and I could practice my self-control. _

_Carlisle's sentiment._

_It was in vain. _

_Almost as soon as we were seated, there was a man who wasn't interested in the show. His curiosity was on the elegant lady just before me. I could see the line of her neck and how the dark tresses were securely pinned and decorated in delicate pearl head pins. She was well-heeled and lovely enough to gain his special attentions and when she excused herself to the water closet, I knew the man's vile intentions. _

_He moved from his seat as soon as she passed his and I rose thereafter._

_Carlisle grasped my cuff and willed me to stay, but how could I? _

_How can a man keen on grace not give it to those who walk unknowingly into their demise? How different was she than I? _

_Carlisle wanted to save me. _

_I wanted to save her._

_And perhaps have a small snack._

_I didn't see the conundrum. _

_I found him in the shadows, watching for her from behind the thick curtains. His eyes were dark with a sense of menacing glee that I wouldn't have been able to fathom before my resurgence but I knew it well. His intentions were clear, his mind sound in his decision. _

_He plucked the woman right from the blood red carpet, covering her mouth with his hand as his other arm curled around her. Startled, she tripped over her skirts trying to break away, but his experience in the hunt and capture got the best of her. _

_With each step buffered by thick velvety rugs in the empty hall, neither of them saw me. I moved easily through the lobby and then the back labyrinth of the theater silently._

_Am I not but a presence; a spectral shade in the night? _

"_The Opera ghost really existed," I whispered in his ear as I ran by him. _

_He couldn't see me but it was enough for his step to falter and take pause but not enough to let her go. She struggled within his grasp. _

_My voice echoed through the halls. "And, despite the care which she took to look behind her at every moment, she failed to see a shadow which followed her like her own shadow, which stopped when she stopped, which started again when she did and which made no more noise than a well-conducted shadow should."_

_The thought that I, Edward Cullen, was the __Le Fantôme de l'Opéra in the flesh in flesh amused me greatly. _

"_Is that not your game?" I asked him, standing before him for but a moment before I was gone again. _

_The man gasped in fright, searching for a private exit to take her._

_I stood, under the cloak of darkness the theater granted and waited for the precise moment to push him from her._

_The lady barely saw me that much I am sure, before she fumbled in the darkness back toward the only light she could see. Once she was safely away, I grabbed the man by his throat and dragged him further into the darkened pits of his fate. _

_I cupped his face in my hand and gave him the same sinister look he gave to his prey._ _'''He__ is extraordinarily thin and his dress-coat hangs on a skeleton frame. His eyes are so deep that you can hardly see the fixed pupils. You just see two big black holes, as in a dead man's skull.' Is that not how you see me now or perhaps you see the red flames of Hell to finally greet you?"_

_I ended him._

_The taste of his death on my hands and lips was disgusting._

_Carlisle sighed as he moved through the darkness without issue. He pulled me from the man and when I chanced a look, there was only patient understanding. _

"_We must find a more fitting place for him than here." He whispered. _

_He gave me his hand to help me to my feet, although it wasn't needed. We took the man under each of his arms and carried him out into the alley. _

_With all the excitement for the New Year, no one paid one seemingly drunk man being helped along. _

_Nor did they notice a fresh grave in the cemetery where he still resides._

.

A chill moved over Bella as she sat in the leather chair.

Moments later, a blanket seemed to appear out of nowhere and graced her legs.

"Uh, thank you?" She whispered, feeling out of sorts but she didn't know what else to think. A gust of air brushed past her and she clutched at the book and blanket that moved with the momentum.

Was EAMC the ghost just as he described himself in the journal? Was it him that moved around her imperceptibly?

Bella waited for several more moments and even leaned to try to see the lower level but there wasn't anything seemingly amiss.

Perhaps it didn't matter.

If it was him, he obviously meant her no harm.

She pulled the blanket under her legs and vaguely noticed the enticing aroma of sustenance wafting towards her as she opened the journal again.

She stopped on a small, intricately detailed drawing that was almost unnoticeable hiding in between the pages.

It was a woman dressed appropriately for the time period. She wore a highly detailed gown with the exception that one side of the top curved down to show her exposed and cupping her breast.

Bella gasped and quickly thumbed through to find the post explaining the woman.

But there was none.

.

"Dinner!" Alice said as a greeting as she moved up the stairs towards Bella. "Are you finding the journals interesting.

"I am," Bella said quietly with a slight blush gracing her features. She rose from her chair and placed the journal on the seat before she fallowed Alice to the kitchen.

The kitchen was a mix of old and new. Bella could tell that someone had kept the upkeep on some of the more antiquated items like the wood burning oven and Frigidaire. It was painted in a bright teal color while the rest of the kitchen was in black and white with touches of teals in the pictures, utensils, and a Cuisinart Precision mixer.

The window to the room was a large stained glass image of two peacocks; one white, one in teals and blues, gold, and purples. Their dance was forever captured, as the rain fell quietly over them.

Bella took a deep breath in.

The smell of the rain, hearth, and pasta dinner made Bella think about home with Charlie. It was those such nights she missed the small comforts of home. Such seemingly unnoticeable moments that one takes for granted tear at the heart in a moment.

She wondered if Charlie felt such moments.

But she knew the answer. She saw her life moving forward without him in it and vice versa.

"You have so many different emotions running over your face that it's almost comical but none are of amusement. I'm curious, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I was thinking of my father and perhaps feeling a little sentimental." Bella supplied as a courtesy. She didn't really want to expand on her thoughts but she also didn't want to be rude to her host.

"I get that. I sometimes miss my family and friends, but they are all settled now."

"Oh yes? Where are they?"

"Hmm? Oh, the Brandon Plantation down in Mississippi. I haven't been back in a while, but I hear the plot still grows with new arrivals from time to time. "

"The plot?"

"The cemetery plot. My sister, Cynthia Brandon is there and that's the last I visited. She was nine years younger than me and died just a few years back so the home is now in a trust I manage."

"That's nice. I was an only child. It would've been nice to have siblings to grow up with."

Alice nodded. "I wish I would've had more time with her. I called on her a few times as she matured, but I was seen as nothing more than 'a figment of her clever imagination' so said our father." Alice giggled. "What one doesn't acknowledge doesn't exist, am I right?"

"I suppose." Bella gave a small smile that didn't hide her confusion. She made a mental note to look up the Brandon Plantation and its graves when she got back to her apartment.

"Anyway, I was never a fan of places where people keep their dead. When I drive by, I feel for them. They are trapped within the fences. I don't know why one would want to be buried with strangers in a grave yard, let alone their family members. What if the soul is trapped there? Can you imagine being stuck with them for eternity? I'll pass."

"I never gave it much thought." Bella whispered.

"Well, it'll give you something to think about when you can't sleep tonight!" Alice chuckled darkly. She spooned the pasta and chicken onto the plate in front of Bella before placing it back on the stove.

"You've already been so kind. I can't possibly intrude by staying the night. You've been more than hospitable but I do need to get going after dinner."

"Pishposh! I've already made up your bed! Plus, you have yet to see the rest of the house and its secrecies. Eat up!"

Before Bella could even ask, Alice was gone and she was alone again.

"I didn't know I'd be eating alone," Bella sighed. "I wish I brought down the journal to have something to read."

A gust of air swung the door forward and back again and the journal was placed on the glossy table next to her.

"Thank you." Bella smiled knowingly.

.

A/N: Seems Bella is figuring a thing or two out. Thank you for reading and your kind reviews! I loved each one.

* _**"The Opera ghost really existed." "And, despite the care which she took to look behind her at every moment, she failed to see a shadow which followed her like her own shadow, which stopped when she stopped, which started again when she did and which made no more noise than a well-conducted shadow should." "He is extraordinarily thin and his dress-coat hangs on a skeleton frame. His eyes are so deep that you can hardly see the fixed pupils. You just see two big black holes, as in a dead man's skull." -**_**Borrowed from the ****1909 Gothic suspense serial story/ 1910 novel **_**Le Fantôme de l'Opéra**_**by French writer, Gaston Leroux**


	4. Chapter 4

.

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 4

_*Dedicated in memory of my friend, our friend, and everyone's granma Dee Creston*_

.

Bella stared at the journal for a moment and the swinging kitchen door before she opened it to a random page.

It didn't seem to be the same journal she was reading before, but from what she could tell there were many shelved that looked similar.

This one skipped through months of potential entries and landed on the year 1920, in Columbus, Ohio.

Bella was curious to why they weren't in Chicago anymore but she figured she'd see where this entry took her.

_._

_1920_

_Columbus, Ohio _

_Should I be surprised in the alternative motives of others? _

_Or should I say, should I be surprised of the alternative motives of others when it comes to Carlisle Cullen? _

_Imagine my surprise when I found out that Carlisle has a home here in Columbus already and we moved right in during the night as if we've always been here. _

_The home is beautiful and well-kept, of course. His sensitivity for early colonial roots run strong however his loyalty to the crown still resides in the Queen Anne style home built in 1889. _

_The impressive custom build home is two stories high with walls of thick red brick. There are large square stones that are intricately carved with scenes barely visible from the street. They border and accent the steeple roof and tall chimneys. __It's unlike any other on the street and shows off its opulent grandeur._

_The home is also exquisite inside with complicated sculpted wood banisters and accents that is lovingly polished to shine. Marble floors are covered in expensive imported rugs and lush furniture from every possible era since his birth. It's an eclectic array of comfort and wealth. _

"_Walk with me?" Carlisle asks as he stands in the parlor. I nod, knowing that there's nothing better to do to occupy our time. _

_We've read the all books here already and the newspaper three times._

_But as we pass down the street in the twilight hour, he greets our new neighbors firmly as the new doctor in town to keep any rumors at bay. They cordially accept our information as truth though they keep their respectful distance with a polite welcome._

_Except for one._

_The mature woman sits in among the roses in her front garden and sips tea. Her smile is light and she watches Carlisle with bright knowing eyes. But I can see the signs of a healing bruise along her cheek._

_I know Carlisle can see them, too._

_Instantly, I'm curious._

_Who is this woman and how does she know Carlisle?_

_I look into her mind. _

_She's thinking of Carlisle kindly and in gratitude. She pays little to no attention that he hasn't matured, even though she notices and I can see that she's been under his knife a few times at a much younger age. She's grateful he saved her, but wonders if she was worth saving, after all. Images of her husband filter though her mind at once and I'm assaulted at the severity __of the violence and__ abuse at his hand __and how frequently in which it comes._

_Her mind goes to the whisky, instantly._

_Her mind drifts to her teenage niece and a tree, a broken leg, and then to Carlisle again. He treats the girl and plasters her leg. _

_Then, Carlisle makes himself move away. _

_It takes everything in him to leave her._

_My eyes meet Carlisle's and he shrugs. _

_He barely introduces us and we part ways before I can speak up. When I look back she already retreated back inside but I can still see her thoughts. She's remembering her niece, the girl that had the broken leg. This time she's older, married, and running away with a pocket of money that her aunt managed to hide from her husband. She gave it to her daughter to give to Esme._

_I know what he's thinking instantly._

_He won't be upset if something were to happen to that woman's husband someday._

_It was why she had an injury to her face._

"_Her husband hit her because she gave the younger woman money to run." _

_Carlisle gave a small nod. "Wisconsin?"_

_I nodded, but it didn't matter. _

_He already knew. _

_Knowing Carlisle he probably had her watched a time or two before we arrived._

"_How long will we be here?" I asked, concentrating on the husband's face through her mind and Carlisle's on the inside while on the outside I concentrate on the sidewalk. _

"_Not long." _

"_Why is that?" _

"_She's no longer here."_

"_Who?"_

"_My mate."_

_Images of the girl with the broken leg run through her mind._

_I gave a curt nod as we made our way down the street and back to the house. _

_Nothing else needed to be said._

_Esme Anne Platt Evenson._

_Her aunt, unaccompanied in the garden, gave Carlisle the information without even asking. _

_Esme was no longer there._

_Neither was her husband._

_The several days later, a package arrived on the porch addressed to Esme's Aunt's husband. _

_He opened it curiously but all he saw was a figurine of a pig. He thought it odd and ugly and set it on the writing desk before walking away, not giving it another thought. _

"_She saw the pig and smiled." I tell Carlisle as we sit in the library. His grin mirrors the woman's, "She picked it up and stowed it away in a private, hidden cabinet. I'm confused."_

"_Keep watching." _

_So I do. The nameless woman waits until her husband pours himself two fingers of whisky and settles into his chair before she reopens the cabinet and takes out the pig._

_She carefully, as quietly as she can, cracks the pig in half as if it was an egg and pieces of the porcelain fall into the bowl she carefully lined with fabric to buffer the sound. Coins and bills fall into the bowl and the woman grinned widely as if she did a thousand times before as a child; in wondrous glee._

_Ignoring the money for now, she picks up the folded enveloped note that fell out with the coins and opened it._

_I looked at Carlisle and he's grinning widely, knowingly, and explains. "It wasn't uncommon to give the kids at the hospital these fun trinkets. I believe she remembers the one I gave Esme and knew it held treasure."_

"_Why give it to the husband?"_

"_Because it's proper to do so, Edward," Carlisle grumbled. "And if I sent it to her it would've created unnecessary conflict. She knew it was for her upon seeing it and he won't notice the difference. He may see it in the bin broken and not give it another thought. Had he been more perceptive, he would've noticed the plug at the bottom."_

"_So you had these made for the children at the hospital or for a specific child?" _

_Carlisle grinned and shrugged, clearly caught._

"_So you gave her money and what else?" _

"_You know me too well, son." Carlisle laughed brightly. "I am surprised you didn't pull it out of my mind." _

"_I would've but you're practicing blocking me and wanted to give you the chance." _

"_Perhaps you'll thank me later for that." _

_I shook my head seeing an array of improper thoughts instantly move through his mind of him and Esme but in his visions she's older. _

_He's obviously been back to visit her since she's matured._

"_What else did you give Esme's Aunt?" _

"_There's some land and a homestead I own in Clallam County, Washington. She's got a copy of the deed there with her name on it that is valid until she passes. It then goes back into the trust." Carlisle shrugged. "By then, if we want to move back there, we can."_

"_You do this often with your properties?"_

_Carlisle looked at me with a bit of impatience. "I do if and when the occasion arises. The occupants have a safe place to live in peace, it keeps the neighbors unaware, and the homes occupied. By the time we'd come back to those homes, those who would remember us would've passed and the newer generations wouldn't know better."_

"_That's a gracious thing to do." _

_Carlisle gives a small grin and nods. "It's the only thing I can do sometimes."_

"_And Esme?"_

"_We'll see when we get to Wisconsin." _

_-EAMC_

_._

"Edward." Bella smiled as she brushed her finger over the ink of EAMC's name if it was a caress.

She finally had a name for EAMC.

A swift gust of air brushed around Bella, fluttering the pages of the journal and ruffling her hair. She giggled. "Hello to you, too, Edward."

Alice appeared instantly, looking at the door of the kitchen that was swinging until it stilled. She then turned to Bella with a knowing smile. "You're bed is ready. Follow me."

Bella got up as Alice was opening another door Bella hadn't noticed before. It was old and the wood was painted white.

Alice stilled in the doorway and turned to look at Bella. "Don't forget the journal." She grinned. "You wouldn't want it to have to suddenly appear on the bed-" Alice's eyes got hazy for a moment as she looked just to the side of Bella. She grinned wider. "On second thought, leave it there and ask him to bring a journal to you again."

"Wait…" But then Bella understood. She put down the journal on the table with a grin and followed Alice. "Okay, show me to my room. I'm so excited!"

"You say that now."

_._

A/N:

It's Bella's bedtime. *snickers*

I wonder if E will watch her sleep?

It's going to be moving forward more often once we snatch up Esme in The Journals. Also, I know Edward is said to have killed Esme's husband in 1928 when he goes nomad and that he's E's first victim but not in this story as it doesn't fit_._

Anyway, sorry this was late. This has been quite an adventurous, dramatic week with the 'pandemic.' I'm hopeful you all are able to be safe and well and this story is a bit of an escape for a few minutes.

This week, March 15th, 2020, we also lost a beloved friend and member of our fandom, Dee Creston aka FangirlinGranmaDee. My heart goes out to her, her family, friends, and those who love her. I know it hit me hard. She was reading and reviewing this story and so many others with such light, care, and beautiful encouragement in each review. She will truly be missed. I hope she can continue to feel how much she was loved and appreciated. As Dee would say, "GAINT GRANMA HUGS AND SMOOCHES" to all of you! Be well.

See you next week and thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 5

_Wisconsin_

_1921_

_I once watched a peep show on a Mutoscope at the penny arcade when I was about sixteen. _

_I was supposed to go to the store for mother when father came home early from work as he did sometimes when he was under stress. _

_I knew such busying tasks were more for my good than hers and I knew better than to fight her on it. _

_I took the coins willingly and left. _

_There's a thrill of excitement when it's finally your turn and you drop your coin into the unknown. Then the pictures start to play in motion. _

_I watched the whimsical woman gyrate her dance of seduction as she carefully disrobed. When the pictures stilled, I came away from the machine with a knowing that has never left me to this day. _

_Luckily, being tasked to go to the store eased my most sensitive nerves back into their rightful place. I quickly bought a loaf of bread to hide any lingering excitement that remained by the time I got back home. _

_Of course, I know how women view me now. _

_I know I'm attractive. _

_Is it not in my very nature to lure them to me? _

_I could choose any one of them for the taking. I could do the things I see a thousand times a day in the minds of men and women alike. _

_But I resist._

_Before I changed, I only knew seduction only through pictures and films but not love._

_My mother's love laced with fear at times. _

_I know love is fleeting. _

_It wavers on a string of choices between actions and reactions. _

_It's seemingly the same with someone's lust and ecstasy. _

_Is ecstasy fulfilled once pleasure is arched and euphoria is reached or is it an ebbing and flowing emotion that makes you crave another go?_

_I know intercourse is mere moments of bliss for the man and a task for most women to tolerate. _

_These moments are seemingly wasted with one whom you do not love but they do it anyway! _

_It is both irritating and interesting to me since I cannot seem to block their intrusive thoughts on the matter on either side. _

_I don't want the frivolous attentions of women whom undress me with their eyes while they think of their shopping list. _

_What I want doesn't exist._

_She doesn't exist._

_Perhaps such a woman does exist for Carlisle, though._

_After almost a year of searching for Esme Anne Platt Evenson in every part of Wisconsin imaginable, we finally found her here in the County Home part of an Asylum in Chippewa County._

_It was almost too late._

_I sit on the bench outside waiting for Carlisle as I write, trying to pass the time. _

_I'm surrounded by skeletons of trees as pure white snow falls over me and my words. Each snowflake flutters down gently. It's almost calming if it wasn't for all the screaming in my head. _

_Instead of zeroing in on the thoughts of Carlisle, I try to concentrate on the beautiful, intricately laced snowflakes while the frigid cold competes with my own flesh and loses. _

_I am not one for skating truth nor am I one to lie. _

_Being here is torture._

_One male sits in the window watching me and I don't need to look up to see him, to hear him. _

_He is much like I was before my change._

_He knows I am different._

_He's observant. _

_He watches._

_He has a knowing about him- others, just as I did… I do._

_I know how he got here. _

_He didn't hold his tongue._

_I now know it would've been the same for me had I gone inside, if I was stuck inside. If anyone knew anything about me the way I know about that man. _

_Is someone really classified as insane if it recognizes the same attributes in another who walks freely?_

_He wants me to come to him._

_Free him in the way only I can._

_The thoughts are chaotic, scared, fearful and angry inside. _

_All are emotions that bring about a vicious cycle of pain. _

_I cannot help them- anyone. _

_I cannot ignore them, either. _

_I cannot save them._

_Their torture is my torture and even with the brief escape of the memories of the penny slots- full of wiggling, disrobing women- it does nothing to ease the screaming in my head. _

"_Would it not be more humane to put them out of their misery?" I asked Carlisle just before he went inside._

"_No."_

_No. _

"_Murder isn't humane for the one being slayed, is it?" He says with a slight smile._

"_No." I smirk, "It would be humane for me since I would finally get peace and quiet." _

_He laughs lightly but the silence in Carlisle's mind affords him with comfort and compassion. _

_His doesn't recycle pain, fear, and chaos. _

_But I know that it's their lot in life as what I am now- is mine. _

_Finally, I see Carlisle peek his head out of the front door with a sobering look. _

_I know that look. _

_It's the same look he gave my mother when she begged him to save me._

"_She's here?" _

_He nodded but he didn't need to tell me. _

"_Her leg is broken and I suspect her spine is severed. She is still under evaluation but there's not much they can do."_

"_Which means that she'll die here, otherwise..." _

_Carlisle looked back inside the building for a moment before looking back at me. "Yes."_

"_Then let's go get her. The sooner we leave, the sooner I get to go home and away from-" I gestured towards the asylum's residents. _

"_You're her nephew who's come to take her home."_

_I nodded and we went inside._

_That night, Esme Cullen joined our family and took her place as Carlisle's mate._

_Their love didn't teeter._

_-EAMC_

.

When Alice opened the door of the main house from the kitchen, Bella noticed it was unusually dark even with the random flashes of distant lightning and sporadically placed candles. The ambient light didn't provide any warmth to the shadowy space except to give a hint that there were other rooms.

Within the dim light, Bella could see that there were hints of antique furnishings with thick, glossy wood that framed expensive leather sofas. Bookcases reached skyward at the end of each hall and they were filled with artifacts, vases, and numerous old-fashioned books with man-made bindings.

The musky smell wafted underfoot with each step over the creaking wood floor.

It felt ominous and for the first time Bella was on edge and second thinking the idea of staying there overnight. She wondered what the address was to call a cab and began to fumble for her phone. But as if Alice sensed her apprehension, she grasped Bella by the cuff and held her hand in hers and pulled her along. Bella relented reluctantly and shuddered for a second at Alice's cold hands.

Any of the second thoughts quickly Bella had escaped to the back of her mind and she followed with nervous anticipation.

"Have you lived here long, Alice?"

Alice paused for a slight second. "Long enough," She whispered. She then moved forward with wider steps.

"What's with all the books?"

"Two of my family members collect books. One collects military collectables, books, and various war-time antiques. However, my brother is more meticulous. He tends to enjoy binding… uh… books and journaling. He also tends to collect some art. Of course, you're already acquainting yourself with that particular brother so you may learn to know him on a different level based on his journals than his family would."

"_Edward_," Bella said in yearning. It was just the slightest whisper but Alice still heard her clearly.

"Yes. _Edward_." Alice mimicked.

Bella couldn't help but notice Alice's mood had definitely changed. She wasn't sure what- if anything -happened once they crossed from the kitchen and into the main home, but there was definitely something up.

"Here we are," Alice motioned her hand to point at the door and released Bella's hand from her cuff. "You'll notice there's a bell system here. It's antiquated but we didn't seem to need to change it since we don't usually host guests and it hasn't really been used in years. If you need something, ring it. The house is easy to be lost in and it's far easier if you just ring the bell. I can get you whatever is needed."

"Is it just you and me in the house, Alice?"

Alice's lips pierced as if she was contemplating the question. Her eyes glazed over like they sometimes did when she was thinking of things.

"The home is currently occupied. My family has been made aware of your presence but whether they choose to introduce themselves, still remain to be seen."

Bella's eyes narrowed. "So other than you, and Edward-"

Alice visibly shuddered when Bella said his name as a swift gust of air blew the door wide open in front of them where they stood.

"Right. This is where I leave you. The room is stocked with any essentials you may need unless you have any other personal needs?"

"No. I'm fine. Thanks."

Alice nodded and backed away from the room silently as Bella stepped into the room warily. As soon as she entered, the door shut softly behind her without another word.

But as Bella looked around, she didn't feel like she was alone even though there wasn't really anything she could see that would prove otherwise.

With five more steps into the room, Bella found a side table with various keys on a piece of ribbon. She picked it up and found one that locked the door to her room from the inside. Although she thought it was odd, she quickly moved back to the door and locked herself inside.

She thumbed through the other keys. One was for the hutch and she opened it to see it had some clothes in it from all kinds of time periods. From current attire of jeans, tee shirts, pajamas and unmentionables to elaborate gowns, Bella was amused and a bit curious to whom they once belonged and closed the door.

Another key opened a drawer and inside were various pieces of jewelry lying on top of blue velvet. Bella instantly closed it and went down to the next.

It was empty, so were the other two below it. She guessed it was possibly for the guests' personal belongings, closed them quickly, too.

Bella found the bathroom easily since it was already lit when she unlocked and opened the door.

The first thing she noticed was there was no openable window to the outside, just another beautiful stained glass window. This piece was a depiction of a fiery Phoenix rising above the clouds and into a vivid, dark blue sky. She gasped when she saw the muted hues brighten for a moment when the stormy night flashed with nearby lightning.

The rest of the bathroom was much like the kitchen but monochrome. The walls were black, while the tile, tub, and sink were white. The large, inviting claw footed bathtub sat proudly in the corner. Bella smiled, imagining how a hot soak would feel once she got situated but her thoughts instantly turned to how many others once laid in the same ancient tub, trying to wash their day away, too.

She shook her head, trying to dispel the thought and every horror movie with a bathtub in it.

Moving to the sink she saw a new toothbrush, brush, and some of her favorite shampoo, creams, and lotions in the cabinet all set out for her.

Bella stilled.

She looked back out of the bathroom door and into the bedroom. She thought of the hutch and how it held clothes specifically for her. And the jewelry, gowns, and shoes. Items she could only dream about were all there at her fingertips... also probably left just for her.

"It's like they were expecting me," She whispered aloud to herself in the quiet room. In an instant, a draft blew by and caressed the back of her neck. Bella twisted to see if there was someone there, but there wasn't anything noticeable.

Her mind instantly went to the journals and then… to… Edward.

"Don't freak out… don't freak out... don't freak out... don't freak out-"

But Bella was freaking out.

Her heart thundered within her chest, her skin flushed with anxiety as she made herself move from the bathroom and back into the bedroom.

She stood in the door way as the curtains moved slightly and in an instant there was the soft, tinkling, musical notes from a piano started playing within the bedroom. Startled, Bella walked around the hutch carefully where she noticed an iPod mounted over the speaker in the sitting area of the room.

She hadn't noticed the space before, nor did she notice the curtains until they swayed. Bella also didn't or the door than stood just beyond the hutch.

Shaking her head, Bella willed herself to look at what music was playing.

"Clair de Lune, Debussy," she read. The soft notes moved through the room and around her as if it was a warm blanket just out of the dryer. She couldn't help but sway for the slightest second before her mind circled back to how absurdity of it all.

There shouldn't be clothes and shoes for her not any music playing that she didn't turn on. There also shouldn't be a journal to land at her request at the dinner table, or a blanket over her lap when cold.

She didn't think it was an accident that journals were there in the room and lying on the bed.

The room, journals, drafts, clothes… it all meant something and she knew that all those things had something to do with Edward.

Swallowing down her better judgment Bella spoke.

"I know you're here."

It was if they were all clues of the elusive Edward.

Perhaps even Alice was a clue.

She looked around the room trying to get a glimpse of the allusive spirit. "Edward, is it? It's all you, isn't it?"

There was no draft but a shiver moved down her spine as if she was being touched.

Bella moved from the music, turning slowly and looking for anything to be amiss.

There wasn't.

The heat came on in the room and moved over her in waves and her thoughts instantly moved to the hidden door.

With new purpose, Bella grasped the keys in her pocket and ignored the fact she didn't remember stowing them there in the first place.

One moment they were in her hand, the next minute they weren't.

Bella looked at the keys and zeroed in on the one of the two she hadn't used yet. It was small and she plucked it from the other keys that clattered when they fell to the bottom of the ribbon.

Carefully, as if she was Alice in Wonderland and about to follow the allusive rabbit on the other side of the door, Bella put the key in the lock and twisted.

It popped open instantly, jostling her in fright for a moment before the door slowly swung open.

Opening the door, there was no rabbit, just a broom and some cleaning items.

Bella closed the door with a bit of annoyance as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Get a hold of yourself, Bella. You're mad because a creepy door doesn't lead to something scary and different?" But she didn't need to answer herself to know that she was a bit perturbed that it didn't lead to a hidden, secret passage or to another secret room.

Resolving to look again in the daylight, Bella looked back around her room for any trace of Edward before she secured the door with a swift turn of the key.

Moving back to the hutch, Bella quickly unlocked it and pulled out the pajama's left for her. She then made her way to the bathroom, but stilled when she went to shut the door. "If you're in here- and I think you are- I need a minute."

She didn't wait for the draft or an eerie shiver down her spine. Instead, Bella quickly closed the door behind her and sat on the toilet, ignoring the pull chain flusher that still remained from some era passed. Why they updated some items and not others was confusing yet endearing.

For a slight moment, her mind circled back to the fact that she didn't know where she was or the people she was with and as if clockwork, her anxiety showed its ugly head. She instantly felt the panic and nervousness bite at the surface of her skin.

When she looked back at the bathtub and then at her dirty clothes and skin from the car outside, she thought that the might help calm her more if she was clean, even if it a little bit unnerving.

"Take a bath in a haunted house, Bella?" She scoffed, "because that NEVER ended badly for anyone in any horror film."

But she felt grimy.

Against her better judgement, after she lit several fat candles that just happened to be on the edge of the tub, and because there was no shower, Bella made up her mind. She turned on the hot water, poured in a lot of soap to make a lot of bubbles, disrobed, and sunk into the hot, bubbly water.

She turned off the faucet once she was completely covered in water and suds.

Bella dipped the back of her hair into the water but was careful not to put her face underwater. Her eyes were open because if there was something there to drown her she wanted to see them do it.

It wasn't rational at all, but it eased her nerves for a second before the horror of the thought sunk in.

"Death by drowning isn't my preferred way to go, just so you know." Bella spoke into the empty bathroom. Her voice carried along the walls in a slight echo. There was no answer, just more delicate notes from the bedroom. "Not that I've given much thought about how I would die- just… you know… not like this- in a stranger's house in a stranger's bathtub."

There. If there was anyone listening, even Edward, they'd know.

Don't kill her in the bathtub.

It even sounded obtuse to her in her own mind.

"Because, you know, I know you've killed before. I read it in the journals. You probably know exactly what I'm reading, you wrote them." Bella scoffed, jostling the water. "Actually, I'm glad you played something calming like Debussy and not the sound track of the Phantom of the Opera. Maybe save that for the second or third bath if I'm still here," Bella chuckled. She was clearly losing it but the quiet was unnerving so she continued to mumble, "I always thought Christine would be better off with the Phantom, even though he had a bit of a dominating nature. I can't say that I blame him. You can't control how people treat you. I just wonder how he managed to live his whole existence alone. I guess I have a soft heart for the character. I loved the book so much that I saw the movie and the play." She laughed. "Who doesn't like a good guy that's also a bit of a bad guy? I would've gone with him in a hot second."

Bella thought about the movie and the play. "Of course, the Phantom was written as being disgusting, yellow, and smelly but perhaps that would happen to someone living in the underground catacombs. Perhaps if he moved above ground, got a bath or two, and some sunshine he would've been more agreeable?"

For several moments she waited for anything, a draft, a word, a flicker of the flame dancing on the wick.

There was nothing.

"No, I guess not." Bella huffed before she dipped her hands into the warm water and ran them over her face to wash it. "Personally, if I got to choose, I'd think sex would be better way to go… perhaps not for the other party, of course! But for the person going, I'd think it would be the best way. Not that I'd necessarily know…" Bella muttered to herself. "No one would touch me with a ten foot pole in Forks with the Chief of Police as dad. It was like I had the plague. Not that it matters, but I definitely don't have the plague. Can't say it's changed any here in Chicago."

Bella sat with her thoughts for several moments before her mind drifted to some of the guys she saw in Forks. Everyone was all for the Tyler and Mike types at the school but she couldn't see their appeal. Even her dad's buddy Billy's son wasn't even on her radar. Every time he came over with his dad, he'd sit on the couch and played games on his phone. He barely noticed anything, let alone her.

"I guess I'm lucky none liked me like that because then I would've probably stayed and settled there with them," Bella bit her lip. Her pruned fingers were suddenly very interesting. "I wouldn't have stayed for me." She whispered, rubbing at her eyes that suddenly stung. Perhaps she got soap in them, but she knew better.

"Loneliness can be felt the same even in crowd of people or in a bathtub talking to the faucet."

With tears brimming in her eyes and the water growing tepid, Bella felt it was time quickly wash so she could get into the warm bed.

.

A/N: Stopping there… it's 3:30 am and I've read it so many times that it's bleeding together. I get to homeschool the little while we're in a Stay at Home and he's pretty much taken over my computer but I wanted to send it out because I'm already a week late. I'll give it fresh eyes later.

I hope that you all well and safe! I'm staying home and away from people since I have issues that remained from last year when I had mold exposure, asthma, and had upper node bilateral pneumonia. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	6. Chapter 6

.

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 6

.

Bella left the gentle piano music playing as company as she tiptoed through the room and into bed.

It was far more comfortable than she expected it to be. For some reason she thought it would be as old as the other furniture she's seen in the house, but it was seemingly new. So were the pillows, sheets, and blankets.

Well, except for an old quilt that was draped over the end of the bed.

Bella wondered if there was a story that came with the quilt for a moment before she looked at the journal that lay on the nightstand.

"Journaling is like whispering to one's self and listening at the same time." Bella whispered with a grin before she felt the flutter of the curtains move slightly, but it didn't reach her. Perhaps it was her imagination or her will, but there wasn't the draft she had quickly become accustomed to and she found that she missed it.

But it all that anxiety came rushing back when Bella turned off the lamp at her bedside table and she was suddenly immersed within the darkness. She instantly felt as if the shadows morphed making the walls move in strange ways.

Bella flipped the light back on and saw the room was exactly as it was moments before. She picked up the journal that was left on the side nightstand and thumbed to where she saw a ribbon holding the place. Curious, she read.

.

_Rochester, NY_

_April 1933_

_Esme is concerned that I have yet to find my mate. _

_As obtuse as the notion is that many of us have yet to find a partner- let alone THE allusive mate, I her accept her kindnesses and begrudgingly tolerate the various matchmaking that amuses her. _

_How she forgets that I can read minds, let alone hers, is bemusing._

_It was last Thursday when Carlisle and Esme returned from their stay in Alaska with our "cousins," the Denali's. I have yet to meet them, though I can see from Carlisle's thoughts that they are proficient in certain skills sets that they have acquired from many, many (if I may be so bold to say) suiters. _

_It's not that I'm not prudish in any sense of the word, of course. Several journals thus far have been spent utilizing my skills detailing the imagines so that I could remember each instance that gained my special attentions. I do, sometimes refer back to those well-worn pages at my leisure. _

_I digress. _

_The day Carlisle married Esme she became my mother on paper. _

_She is mothering in mind, as well, though I do not see her as such. She was only a few years senior in age than my own when she was changed. _

_Her concerns of my solitude these past few years far surmounts all else and I know that she would like to see me settled with a mate to mirror her own happiness. _

_She worries for me more than my own mother had on her deathbed. _

_She thinks there may be someone that may strike some kind of (mating-bond) fancy like she had with Carlisle as a human. Perhaps she's correct in her thinking, but she also believes it's a bit of rebellion on my part that I do not wish to court them! _

_It's their thoughts that make them intolerable and not viable choices. _

_I have met a few others like us when I went off on my own and saw that many were able to find someone to occupy their time in such an existence, but I cannot! I refuse to give my promise to someone that I have not courted and lack affection. It's not that I haven't been searching for my intended mate! I have spent many days and nights, year after year looking to no avail!_

_Esme doesn't understand. Her unrelenting, continuous thoughts and redundant discussions eventually wore me down. _

_That is why we now sit late one Saturday night in a former speakeasy in downtown Rochester perusing the local women, much to my dismay. _

_Correction. _

_I'm writing in this journal and she is looking for a suitable mate for me._

_I don't even need to look at them to know they are looking at me. I see it clearly. I hear them clearly. Their interest is present but their self-preservation keeps them away._

_I can see from her mind that the bond is more of a pull, a longing to be with that person and an ebbing pain when apart. The concept of pain for people like us is something not often seen. Only a few have the talent of physical pain. Most gifts are more mental._

_Like mine. _

_How Carlisle managed to leave Esme in the first place is beyond me. _

_But as I look around at the people and pretend to sip my bourbon, I cannot see anyone that has caught my special attention. _

_In an instant there's a mental commotion within the room and the masculine energy in the room is teaming with lust and vivid fantasies of them with a blonde._

_My head tilts to the side and see a tall blonde woman move through the room. She smirks knowingly as there's an audible hush of conversation but their fantasies grow like wildfire. Like Moses with the Red Sea, they part with awe for her but I can only see the air of arrogance she gives off. I turn away from them all, instantly bored._

_Esme isn't as keen to write her off. She's been eyeing me with thoughts that she may be a good fit for me even in her current state of being. _

_She leans closer and whispers, "Oh, she's lovely Edward."_

_She could've kept her whisper as a thought, but I knew better. She wanted Carlisle to hear her and encourage her in this plan._

_Which he always does._

_I look at her with annoyance. "No."_

"_You don't think she's lovely?"_

"_She is promised to another," I say simply, hoping they'd move on._

_I know they won't. _

_I know her name. _

_Everyone does. _

_She is Rosalie Hale, the daughter of a banker and her fiancé, Royce, works with her father. _

_It is an acceptable match in society circles. I've seen it a thousand times. They are not marrying for love or lust- but status. _

_Rosalie Hale looks at me with envious curiosity for a moment as she saunters by but she's quickly diverted to her fiancé and his group of friends. Royce demands attention from everyone around him, Rosalie included. _

_They move away from the three of us and I look back at the drink I won't be drinking in front of me. I have seen her around as she had seen my family. Carlisle is often the town doctor and this city is no different. She greets us with a curt nod, wondering briefly about our oddly beatific features. _

_She won't linger in the club long and Royce will surely send her on her way soon. She will go willingly since she's eager to see her friend Vera in the morning. _

_There's suddenly a mix of noise from the band as they tune their instruments. It'll be mere moments before they start playing and the floor in front of them will be flooded with dancing._

"_Can we go?"_

_Carlisle frowns but looks to Esme for a moment before she nods in agreement and we quickly make our way out. _

_There's no sweet caress of the wind around me. It feels stagnant._

_I let Carlisle and Esme walk ahead the moment I feel the atmosphere change. They are feeling amorous and I do my best to limit the exposure. I turn down the alley and she the quiet night filled with fits of laughter and drunken anger. Both mix dangerously close and my steps quicken in the opposite direction. _

"_Hey there," the voice moves through the air like a Siren beckoning from the Sea. She means to call to me, seduce me, but I know better and it lands on deaf ears. Her thoughts betray her. I've seen her before though Carlisle's mind. She's one of the Denali sisters from Alaska. _

_I see that Carlisle sent for her in a moment of weakness with his mate from his mind. _

"_Tanya," _

_It's not a greeting. It's an acknowledgement. _

_She giggles lightly; the tinkling sound misses its mark when I look away from her. Her charms do not work with me but she enjoys the game. _

"_Edward." She grinned. "You left the club early." My mind is instantly filled with her imaginative thoughts of us together in a tryst of lust-filled animalistic sex. I can see that she's a steadfast lover and a graciously accommodating teacher if I required instruction._

_She a succubus._

_Her mind is like a deck of cards shuffling and reshuffling. Each word of mine shifts her intentions. _

_There isn't any real interest in building any kind of sustainable relationship. _

_Her thoughts fluctuate on what she wants, what she thinks she needs, and what she'd like to do with me, to me. _

_Cards shuffle and lay before me. _

_Five cards each splay through her mind and the pictures move._

_She's trying to distract me. Her arms circle around my torso, locking around my back for a moment drawing me in for a kiss that I rebuff. Undeterred, her hand drifts up my chest. Tanya is more than friendly towards a man she just met, even though she doesn't think of us as strangers. She's heard a lot about me and knows of my gift. _

_A man Eleazer has informed her well._

_She uses her touch, words, and thoughts well and had I been desperate for affection I would have taken her how she wanted- against the alleyway wall._

_But she's wrong. It has no effect on me. _

_After almost 15 years since I was changed, I know how to control my impulsive sensitivities. _

_It has been mere seconds but feels like eternity._

"_I heard you can read minds?" Her voice is taunting as she teases my collar. I step away from her without another word and read the instant rejection on her face and in mind. It doesn't last. Her resolve is stronger and like the shuffling of the cards, her game changes again._

_Erotic cards flare out in my mind, images of her on her knees before me and me before her on mine. _

_Neither seems appetizing and she can tell instantly from my face, though she ignores it._

"_It's a burden I must endure, much like your false affections. I fold." _

_She knows my meaning instantly._

_Game over._

_Tanya scoffs and instantly pulls away. _

"_Our parents think we'd make a good match."_

_I look at her then, seeing the flippant way she shrugs off the game and the vigorous affection like wet shirt. It's not comfortable for her to be vulnerable and though she tries to hide her thoughts, I can see that she doesn't really desire a mate, either. _

"_We could be friends, nothing more." I offer. _

_She grins slightly and nods, "Sure thing, sweetheart!" Her eyes divert from Edward and land on a human male that's just left the club with a woman on his arm. I recognize him instantly as Rosalie's fiancé; Royce. The woman has long brown hair that falls over her shoulders and is not his betrothed._

_She is quite the opposite._

"_Ah, what a looker!" Tanya grins and her thoughts are a mixture of instant lust and hunger. She's already entranced with the show that she's imagining in her head. _

_The mental pictures shuffle again. _

_Then again._

_I can see from Tanya's mind that she's watching as Royce abruptly turns into the alleyway, dragging the giggling woman behind him. He doesn't see that he has an audience, nor does he care. He quickly disrespects the woman by pulling down her blouse. He gropes her as he kisses down her neck as she moans in approval. She doesn't seem to mind at all. Although, I've seen enough, it's all there still to see. Her hands grip at his clothing just as eagerly and he laughs when she finds his belt, his buttons, and then his manhood. _

_She grips him tightly._

_I wish I could just tune it out but I've seen it a thousand times before._

"_They look like they are in love." Tanya groans as her fingers fiddle with the collar of her shirt. I turn away, though it plays in my head anyway._

_My eyes are cinched shut but can still see him impale the woman in his mind, in the mind of man down the street and the copper on the corner and though Tanya's eyes. He's thrusting hard against her, and is uncaring that she's hitting the wall. She cries out, feigning her peak and wanting it to be over quickly. It was a mistake but it's too late. His hand covers her mouth, warning her to be quiet. She obeys, trying to forget the pain from the friction from her head and back. I can see in her mind the prickle of fear as I watch his hand move from her mouth to her neck. He wraps his fingers around her throat for a moment. _

_She's surprised a little scared, and stiffens._

_Royce grins wickedly._

"_That's not love."_

"_It looks like it to me." _

_I ignore Tanya and see that her mind matches her words. She thinks this is affection. It's spontaneous, intimate. Like the woman being impaled by Royce, Tanya desires to be needed just as fervently._

"_His fiancé would probably disagree. She left just before he took this broad in the alley."_

"_Well, who am I to judge someone's fun." Tanya shrugs my words off as if the fiancé would be just a pawn to her queen. Tanya's game may have changed but she's easily bored. _

_We watch as Royce completes a few seconds later. His frenzy calms with a few grunts and in a matter of minutes the whole experience is thankfully over. _

_Royce withdrawals fully stated but his thoughts are wicked and violent. He wishes he could do more with the woman and is considering inviting her home. _

"_Look," Tanya whispers and I can't help it, I look. _

_Royce's facade is jovial when the woman gives him a silly smile he takes it as an invitation for more. _

_But it is a lie. _

_He wants to take her again in the dark so he doesn't have to be so careful. He's a predator just like countless others. He looks toward the middle of the alley where it's darker and his mind plays out the strategy. But as a couple walks by interrupting them his mind shifts back to Rosalie; she's waiting for him. The woman reaches out to Royce and kisses his mouth, his neck, and thanks him. _

_She's a good liar, too. _

_She plans to take his deposit to the bank._

"_Well, that was definitely different." Tanya giggled. "I must find a little snack. Would you like to join me?" _

_I see her thoughts shift again as a number of male faces from the bar shuffle and reshuffle in her mind. _

_I get her implication immediately. "No thank you." _

"_Suit yourself."_

_I didn't watch her walk away. _

_I was already on my way to find Carlisle and Esme._

_._

_We left early the next morning to hunt, just Carlisle and I. I want to share my grievances with him, but his eyes and mind expressed such hope that I cannot bare it._

"_I learned you met Tanya from the Denali?" _

"_Yes." _

_Carlisle pierced his lips and eyes as he watched me. _

"_It went well, I take it?"_

"_As well as one would hope… considering what she is." _

"_What we are, you mean."_

"_No, I don't." _

"_Edward," Carlisle's exasperation does nothing to guilt me into any kind of declaration. "Does she suit?"_

"_No. Of course not!" _

"_On what foundation?" _

"_It was not a viable match." I huffed in annoyance that he made me say it out loud fully knowing there would be nothing between Tanya and I. I could see it all unfolding in his mind. "Pairing me with a succubus was obviously a humorous to the both of you." _

_Carlisle grinned, knowing he was caught. "I was merely appeasing Esme." _

"_Of course," I smiled sardonically. "Please give her the message that I don't want succubae." _

"_Perhaps the opposite?"_

_I glared at him and he laughed brightly, clearly amused._

"_Perhaps I should leave again, give you and Esme more time together since your only distraction seems to be my intimate privations."_

"_Oh, Edward calm yourself. It was in jest. Neither of us wants you to leave. We just want you to be well matched with a mate." _

"_Well, I doubt that I would find a suitable match in New York, nor do I want to stay here much longer."_

"_What did you have in mind?"_

"_I was thinking of going as far away from here as I could."_

"_Washington? The home is still occupied but we can go closer to the coast, if you prefer."_

"_Perhaps." _

_Let's set our affairs in order, first. Then we can leave in a few days."_

_-EAMC_

_._

Bella flipped through the next few pages. There were several drawings of New York and several penned portraits that resembled the descriptions of Royce, Rosalie, Tanya, and the woman Royce had taken in the alley.

There wasn't a self-portrait, though. Bella was desperate to see a picture of the man writing the journals.

Bella thumbed through many blurred drawings but none seemed to be him. Frustrated and tired, she reached for the light and turned it off.

She was completely encased in darkness but this time it felt different.

It was as if she knew she wasn't truly alone.

She didn't feel afraid.

If the ghost of Edward truly existed still-

_Succubae _

_Incubus_

The words instantly surged through Bella's mind as if they were whispered into her ear but they weren't. They flowed over and over on a loop and Bella instantly knew what Edward- Bella gasped- and the Cullen's could be.

But that would mean Alice could be- would be one, too, right?

It would make sense.

How Alice seemed to appear and disappear, how things just happened to be there when Bella asked and even when she didn't ask.

Bella closed her eyes, trying to remember something niggling at the back of her mind.

Perhaps a repressed memory or a thought?

Could it be as if someone or something had been there all along and she was just too lost in her own mind and in the journals to truly notice?

Bella felt the bed move slightly, even though she hadn't. She couldn't see the curtains, but she could guess they moved with the draft that just washed over her.

"Vampires," Bella whispered into the darkness.

This time it did not answer her back.

.

**A/N: So Bella suspects… or does she know?**

**Thank you for your patience as I went back and forth on whether I was going to add this chapter or scrap it. I chose to keep it as it's fitting for the timeline for now and I want the characters to be introduced in Bella's head. **

**I won't be writing Rose's scene since E wasn't there, and C found her. There may be future journal entries that state what she had done to Royce and a generalization of why but rest assured that there's no sexual violence in this story. The woman Royce was with was someone who had her own motivations for the union as well, if you caught it. **

**Quote: "(Journaling) is like whispering to one's self and listening at the same time." Mina Murray, -Dracula **

**I hope you're coping with the world wherever you may be. **

**I am grateful for your kind reviews. **

**Be safe and well.**


	7. Chapter 7

.

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 7

_._

_April, 1933_

_Rochester New York_

_Under the bright, watchful stars on a freezing night Carlisle found Rosalie Hale dying in a dark and dirty alley. _

_Her body was severely cold and to her attackers or anyone looking down the alleyway she was seemingly dead. Her face was ashen, in hues of blues and purples but her ruby red, fragrant blood still pulsated gently out of her wounds. _

_It called to us like a beacon in the night._

_She was barely alive. _

"_Carlisle," I hissed, looking from Carlisle to Rosalie and then back towards the street to see or hear if anyone was watching. _

_They weren't._

_It was a horrific sight._

_I watched in the shadows as he sniffed around her body before he tore at the clothes that hid her wounds. In an instant he grasped a vial I had never seen before from inside his wool jacket. He quickly opened it and spilled the silvery contents onto his handkerchief. I watched intently as he barely touched her skin as he worked at sealing the wounds shut. They healed instantly._

"_Carlisle," I urged again most ardently. Our ghostly presence standing in the shadows was gaining interest of passersby. If we stayed much longer, curiosity would get the better of them. _

"_Nearly done," He hissed. I understood the meaning. He was denying our very nature. _

_I didn't know how he did it. I as farther away and felt the burning urge to consume but for Carlisle it is his will- his defiance- his diet- that helps keeps him sound in mind and heart. _

_I struggle with it. _

_Esme, of course, has proven to have had an easier time with our chosen diet. _

_There is no vengeance in her heart that fuels our very nature._

"_Are you going to change her?" I whispered as he quickly but gently picked her up. _

_He looked down at her beautiful face marred with blood and debris and then he looked at me. "Yes."_

_His thoughts came at me in an instant. _

"_Absolutely not!" I seethed. "She is not my mate!"_

"_See reason," Carlisle said pleadingly. "Perhaps once she's changed it will be different and you may-"_

.

Bella sat the journal down with a shudder.

Instantly she felt sick as cold jealousy coursed through her. How could she dislike the pairing of a woman and man over 80 years ago?

But she could.

She did.

Bella got out of bed and took a moment to calm down by using the bathroom. After she was done she padded quietly through the room to the curtains and opened up them slightly to peek outside. Even though it was still dark out, there wasn't much to see since the windows were covered in thick vines. She closed the curtains with a frown, absently wondering what time it was, but there were no clocks that she could see.

Before she got back into the bed, she unfolded the quilt and put it over the comforter. Bella enjoyed the instant weight and warmth it brought to her.

"Do I really want to read this?" She whispered to herself, imploring whatever supernatural presence around her to engage but there was nothing.

But she knew the answer already.

She needed to know.

.

"_No, Carlisle." I told him, barely able to hold the venom from my voice. "My mate is worth waiting for, is she not?"_

_He understood what I was implying. _

"_Of course, son," He gave a small, knowing grin. _

_Rosalie moaned slightly as we ran through the streets as quickly as possible while trying to limit what people saw. Usually, they were easily distracted and if they did happen to see things it was easily dismissed with rationalization._

_It worked in our benefit on many occasions. _

_Soon enough, I pulled the door open and Esme was instantly there, grasping at the woman in Carlisle's arms. _

"_Go," he whispered to me, knowing it was hard to be around her and control my nature. _

_I shook my head, knowing that even if I went, I'd be curious on how Carlisle would change her. _

_Esme's change was quiet and we wondered if her spine would heal. _

_Thankfully, it did._

_Rosalie Hale seemed just as damaged, if not worse. _

_There was no telling how it would affect her emotionally, even after the change. _

"_What happened to her?" Esme asked, but there was a knowing when she saw the injuries. _

_Carlisle spoke soothingly, "She's being healed as we speak, my love. We are lucky that we found her when we did."_

_Esme cried, but no tears would fall._

_We watched as Carlisle bent forward for a moment and bit her. _

_Rosalie's body stiffened, she whimpered as tears fell from her eyes. _

"_It's okay, sweetheart," Esme whispered in her ear. "You're going to be okay." _

_But I was skeptical. _

_What would the change do to someone like Rosalie Hale?_

_Time would tell in three days._

_-EAMC_

.

Bella flipped to the page and scanned it. She read how Rosalie was upset at first at being changed without her consent and instantly rebuked any notion of a pairing with Edward.

Edward agreed.

Even if he was interested in Rosalie, her mind was preoccupied. It moved from seething hate of Royce and then to Edward. Carlisle seemed to be saved from the disdain since he was mated to Esme.

There was a brief description about Rosalie killing the men who harmed her and how she left a terrified Royce for last.

In some sinister way, that pleased Bella.

But, as if it made any sense, she was also heartbroken for Edward that he was alone but also glad for it.

"Why does he seem to have such an impact on me?" Bella whispered, thumbing through more pages.

There were many, pages of landscapes forever captured in ink.

They were reverent.

There were also quite a few drawings of people in sensual positions.

The black ink and white paper caught unknown people in the throes of passion.

Sultry, dark eyes filled with lust. Lips plump from being roughly kissed- their hands gripping the flesh of their lover as he mounted her, rocking back and forth, back and forth, gaining more friction with each pulse. In Bella's mind the pictures began to play like the penny peepshows as she flipped through the pages quickly to get the full grasp of what Edward witnessed.

What they were voyeuristically witnessing together.

Page after page warmed Bella. She moved her hand under the covers and began to touch herself lightly. Each picture was more expressive, more intimate.

The woman's breast fell out of the man's hand. It was red from friction from his touch and from their passion.

The drawing showed his manhood, hard and thick right before he penetrates her warm, lush, eager flesh over and over again.

Her back arched as he manipulated delicate, sensitive nerves.

Her body relented, mouth wide with hot gasping breath.

Bella stilled.

White hot nerves danced over her body as she stopped on one of the pictures.

The couple was in the background and still in their passionate embrace locked in time, but that's not what caught her attention.

There was a man.

He was penned in as if he was in the room with the couple, but instead of looking at the intimate couple he was looking back at Bella.

He faced her.

Watchful eyes, dark and sultry. Eyebrows formed in question, lips plump and vibrant red- but not— it was as if the black ink had come to life in vibrant colors in Bella's mind.

Watching her.

Watching her touch herself.

Bella, with shaking hands touched the picture of the man carefully and gasped out loud when the ink ran with movement of her finger.

"Edward!" Bella climaxed with his name on her lips like a kiss.

A gust of wind moved through the room and into the closet that she looked in the night before.

Gasping, trying to get her wits together Bella looked at the door. Any thoughts of him possibly watching her went out of her mind immediately.

Bella removed her hand from her pajamas with a blush. "You want me to go in there?" She whispered, still reeling from the intense moments of her pleasure.

But there was no answer.

She already knew the answer.

Bella got out of bed went into the bathroom. She washed her hands and face and put on the robe that hung from the door and then she tiptoed over to the small closet. She opened the door quickly, not knowing what to expect, but there was still the same supplies in it from the night before. This time though, she moved the broom out before she stepped in.

There seemed to be a slight hint of fragrance that she could smell but it quickly dissipated. Feeling completely ridiculous, Bella took another step inside.

Then, the door to the bedroom slammed behind her!

Bella yelped, her heart thrashed inside her chest to the point where it was painful. Her adrenalized blood flushed her already heated skin.

But in the total darkness, Bella saw a sliver of light just over the floor just opposite of the door.

She hunched down to move closer to it.

Each tedious inch felt like a mile before her fingers played with the slight, dusty glow. Bella pulled on the board and it fell on top of her, bathing the closet in light as she tried to right herself and get it off of her.

"If I have to die, it better not be by being locked in a stranger's closet with a board falling on me." She hissed mostly to herself but also to anyone who may be listening. "I'll be so pissed off, I am not even kidding!"

Hopefully they were listening and taking notes in some journal about all the ways Bella didn't want to die:

Dying in a haunted house in a stranger's bathtub

Dying in a stranger's broom closet by blunt force trauma to head by board.

Bella snickered as she crawled by the board and the other clutter and into the light of the next room.

It was a small room with glossy stained glass windows that seemed to be muted since they were covered in vines. They seemed to move freely from on the outside in from the little cracks. It reminded her a bit of the alleyway where she first found library of the house and she could see hints of the streetlights from inside.

How did see not see the greenhouse if it was right there on the alley? Was it that Bella was preoccupied with the barbed vines and the rain?

Or was it because it was carefully hidden- just like the whole house was- right in front of everyone walking by?

But a more sinister thought flooded Bella's mind as she stood there staring at the door she was at just the day before.

Was Edward just on the other side of the glass and vines, watching her?

A shiver went down her back.

"None of this was chance, was it?" she whispered, but again there wasn't any reply.

She suspected she already knew the answer.

She had the ink on her finger to prove it.

Bella stepped away from the windows and back into the center of the room carefully. She easily found that there was already a small chair waiting for her with another journal lying on the cushion. On the table there was a glass of apple juice and a small tray with a silver cover. Bella walked over to it quickly as her stomach grumbled loudly. She lifted the lid to see it was filled with yogurt, fruit, granola and an iced croissant.

"Oh, thank you," she grinned.

Bella devoured the food quickly before she picked up the journal.

It looked relatively new.

.

_Forks, Washington, _

_April 30__th__, 2017_

.

Bella stilled and re-read the date several times.

"Forks, Washington?" She asked out loud as she looked around the greenhouse for any sign of confirmation.

But there was none.

Had Edward been in Forks around the same time she was? Did they know Charlie- or better yet- did Charlie know him?

She looked around but there wasn't anyone there to ask nor did she have her phone with her to call.

Her phone.

Bella's eyes widened, darting towards the small entryway that led to her room.

Her phone was in her jacket pocket which Alice had taken soon after she came inside the house.

She hadn't even noticed it was gone.

Did she really want to walk through the dark house and call out for Alice for her jacket and phone?

No.

With the sun barely coming up and the sky still in purples pinks, Bella decided there was nothing she could do at the moment.

The journal was placed there for a reason so Bella settled herself down enough to read the next entry.

.

_Forks, Washington_

_April 30__th__, 2017_

_Alice is blocking me._

_I've taken to following her around the house, but she's screaming the "Sing Sweet Nightingale" song like an ugly stepsister trying to block the pictures and thoughts in her mind._

"_This is cruel!" I sneer, right in her face but she only grins wickedly. Moments later, Jasper is at her side washing happy thoughts all over me like soapy linens agitated over the washboard. _

_Alice leaves me hanging and bleached on the green._

"_What's going on?" Carlisle looks from me to Alice and finally, Jasper._

"_We have to move soon." Alice provides simply._

"_No!" Rosalie hisses. "Emmett and I just started our senior year." _

_Alice glares at Rosalie, "You can stay, if you want. I can see that would be okay."_

"_Is it Edward?" Esme is at my side in a moment and grasps my arm. Rosalie rolls her eyes. She's never understood the dynamic between Carlisle, Esme, and me, but they are practically picked up where my parents left off since I lost mine so young. _

_That's what I tell myself, anyway._

"_Yes," Alice frowned. _

"_Me?" In an instant, I could see it all. _

_I was sitting in class and the only empty seat is next to me. There's a new student. She stands and waits for the teacher to acknowledge her when the fan hits her. Instantly, I'm bombarded with a scent so intense it completely makes me lose every sense of restraint I've gained in the past one hundred years. She eyes widen just before I knock her to the ground and sink my teeth into her creamy flesh, killing her. _

"_Alice-" I sit looking at her wide eyed. Jasper is shuffling from one foot to the other not sure what to expect. He can sense the bloodlust, but also the anxiety and fear._

"_Each way I look at it- it ends badly for the new girl, Edward."_

_Another vision fills my head. It twists in distorted ways. _

_The girl is killed by a truck._

_She is killed by drunken frat boys when her friends leave her behind._

_She's killed by nomads._

_Finally, she's killed by Jasper on her birthday._

_I'm not sure why I feel so protective of a girl I've never met but I look at him and growl anyway. _

_He holds his hands up in surrender not knowing what he did in Alice's visions._

_Alice soothes him instantly with her touch. "I'm sorry Edward, but I've looked at in any which way I can. If we stay and if it's not us that hurt her, and not the van, or the nomads, then it's the wolves." _

_Instantly, I'm seething. _

_There has always been contention between my family and their pack ever since we met them in 1936. _

"_Wolves."_

"_They are friendly with her father," She explained sadly. "With us there and having an interest in her, they see her as needing their protection. I don't see it ending well for her in any scenario." _

_I then see the flood of visions all forming around other possible ways this new girl dies by the hands of the wolves:_

_They lose their temper around her and attack her._

_She's driving a motorcycle on the reservation and crashes when she hits a rock._

_While cliff diving with the wolves she hits her head on the rocks. _

_The visions switch and I see my whole family fighting the wolves and then, finally, we're in a field ready to fight with the Volturi guard. _

"_The Volturi?" I hiss and the word hit each of us bitterly._

"_Yes." Alice nods sadly._

_Esme looks stricken as she shook her head in disbelief. "So to save her we need to leave?" Esme reiterates. Her eyes find Carlisle but he just shrugs._

"_Yes." Alice looked down, "It's the only way."_

_I could see the stress lining her face and her visions cycled through her mind. _

"_I don't understand how this all escalates with the new girl almost dying in so many ways and us," I mumble. But Alice unleashes all new visions as she speaks them to the others: Me stalking the girl, saving her from the drunks, saving her from the van, saving her from the nomads, saving her from the nomads again, and again, and when the nomads create an army of newly formed vampires to kill off our family, we fight them again._

_Alice explains everything she sees to the others._

"_So if we leave she can have a calm and happy life? She would be safe from the nomads, vans, wolves-"_

"_The way I see things, yes." Alice nods with confidence. "If we stay and her life is like that one movie where the universe has it out for her and tries in every direction possible to kill her once she meets you."_

"_Final destination!" Emmett boomed, happy to finally have a part in the conversation._

"_Yes!" Alice grinned with excitement._

"_I didn't see it," I roll my eyes. _

_It was a lie. _

_I saw all of them._

"_He was too busy writing fantasy fiction in his journals instead of living that hot, incubus life," Emmett scoffed and Jasper agreed. _

"_I dig my toes into the sand-" Rosalie sings with a wicked grin._

"_The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket." Jasper sings and then winks at Alice. "Or like us in the Sun." he adds playfully._

"_I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless-"Alice sings back softly. She's spinning in the room like the wind is carrying her around. "Like in Chicago," She says in her mind so only I could hear her._

_Visions assault my mind. We're leaving the girl behind and moving to Chicago and it feels like my soul- if I had one- was being ripped out._

"_I wish you were here," Jasper scoops Alice in his arms, dancing slowly, intimately._

"_I wish you were here," Emmett sings to Rosalie who gives him a smug grin._

"_I wish you were here," Alice sings, looking straight at me, "Bella."_

_I still. _

"_At least let me see her before I have to leave her behind."_

_Alice gives a curt nod and I see my family leaving the room._

_I, like always, am left there alone._

_-EAMC_

_._

Bella looks at the journal and reads the words again and again.

They were in Forks when she was there.

They went to her school.

They were who everyone was talking about.

They saw her.

They left her.

They left for her.

Chicago.

They knew she was going to be here.

Her mind instantly went back to that moment on the street the day before.

A _sharp wind _hit her as a car drove by because she was too close the curb and she barely made it out of the way. She remembered ducking into an alleyway that seemed to be forgotten from the street.

It was filled with overgrown vines, with barbs that caught in her hair until she made her way inside… the open door.

They were expecting her.

That meant Edward was there, too. He had to be.

Bella got up from her seat and made her way out through the closet like she did before.

Her room was untouched, like she never left it. The door was still locked from the night before.

She looked at the other journal lying on the bed from the night before. It was then that she realized that she left the new journal back in the other room.

Contemplating going back for it for a moment, Bella sighed and decided it would just have to be left there. She needed more answers.

How did Alice know she was coming? She had to be psychic. It would explain so much. But there was a much bigger question on her mind… "But who are the wolves?" Her words echoed in her mind, taunting her.

She looked at the journal on her bed and thumbed through it quickly, trying to get to 1936 when they first got to Forks.

It just had to be there.

_A/N: _

_So, I've done my best to look it over and wanted to post it quickly for you. _

_I'll fix the things you point out (thank you guest and reviewers) and give it another look through later. _

_Song: "Wish you were here" by Incubus, _

_Final Destination is a movie where the characters were meant to die and they are bombarded with many different situations where they could/ would pass, from my understanding. I haven't seen the whole movie because I don't do well with violent scenes._


	8. Chapter 8

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 8

.

Bella bathed quickly and made her way through the closet and back into the greenhouse to retrieve the journal, but as soon as she got to the spot where she sat, she noticed things had been moved.

The tray was gone as was the journal she was reading. She picked up the one left open on the table and sat down in the chair.

"You want me to read this, huh?" She asked with a huff of annoyance as she looked around the room but there was no answer. She picked it up and thumbed through it, noticing it was one she had been skimming through the night before when Rosalie was introduced.

After a few moments she found an entry she hadn't read yet. Bella was confident there must be more to the story she was supposed to learn and decided to read along.

.

_Gatlinburg, Tennessee  
Smoky Mountains_

_1935_

_We pass by the three sisters working their cotton gin just behind the tree line of their cabin. Their thoughts are busy on the task at hand, though one sister is humming a tune that she's itching to put on paper. It's a simple melody, but they are simple people and I can relate to the sentiment when these thoughts fill up endless time. _

_I vaguely wonder what instrument she plays, but her thoughts give nothing away. _

_Their stone chimney looks self-constructed from the nearby river rock instead of brick and propped up against the house. The smoke rising from the bulbous stones fills the air with the aroma of roasted meat from whatever game they caught. It is sad to say, but these women who haven't bathed in well over a week have a more palatable aroma and are more appealing than whatever beast they are cooking. _

_As we move away from them, we see nothing but trees in all directions but off in the distance, we can hear the machinery paving the way of new roads. _

"_When the roads are done, we can bring in the Phaeton," Carlisle grins. He's referring to his Auburn 1931 Convertible Phaeton Sedan. It's his pride and joy, though I don't know why he'd choose a convertible. It's not like we could drive it in the daylight with the top down._

"_I thought we were meant to be inconspicuous. You're Phaeton would be the talk of the town." Esme scoffs in amusement. She likes it because it doesn't rattle as much as other cars do. _

_It still rattles._

_We continue to make our way through the forest with minimal small talk about his car. I know Rosalie is keen on finding the rattle and tearing the car apart so she can build it back up. It's a ridiculous idea. All we'd need to do it take apart the doors and find the culprit. _

_It's an ongoing debate._

_Although I wasn't keen on moving into the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee, I can tell it's soon to be a favorite. I love the fact that we can blend in here within the flora and fauna without anyone ever seeing us so we don't have to make many acquaintances. _

_It is also ideal since most town folk won't venture too far in the forest with of the threat of bears. _

_Unbeknownst to them, there are worse things than bears. _

_I look at Rosalie and she sends a withering glare back at me as if to prove my point._

_._

_Carlisle opens the door to a cabin twice the size of the three sisters. We take our turn walking in and the first thing I notice is the array of quilts lying over the back of the couch. I turn to look at Esme and she gives me a soft, motherly smile. _

"_I had them specially made for each of you," Esme's joy radiates and it's easy to return it with a smile of gratitude. _

_Rosalie misses the smiles and beelines to the quilts, inspecting them both and probably trying to decide which one is the better so she can claim it first. _

_I know Esme well enough to know that the one she chose for me will most likely not be the one Rosalie chooses, regardless. _

_I pick up the one that Rosalie left and thank Esme. _

_Like a twister through the house, Rosalie quickly claimed her quilt, her room, and her new favorite chair before she sits herself at the desk and studiously ignores the rest of us._

_It's a blessing. _

_After the past two years being around Rosalie, I know well enough to give her a wide birth in confined spaces. _

"_Shall we hunt?" Carlisle asks as he wraps his arm around Esme's waist. He gives a cocky smirk and I know what they are thinking. _

"_You two go on without me. I'm going to scope the area and see if I can find a plot of land that we can start building on." Rosalie looks up from the papers in front of her and looks out the window. "How much land did we purchase?" _

_I know the answer and so does Rose, but I let Carlisle field her questions. Ever since Rosalie saw the architect books from the Rochester home, she has done little else than study them. _

"_So enough for at least three homes in a respectable distance," Rosalie hums and I can see the plans appear in her mind. She's thinking four small cabins that sit in a circle with the main cabin in the middle. I can't say I'm surprised. Rosalie had similar plans in New York until Carlisle thwarted those plans. He was thinking we would probably keep Rosalie's home once her family passes away and then we'd have also have the Cullen house. If there were other properties needed, we'd acquired them once we returned._

_I was more interested in heading west. _

_Carlisle and Esme silently slipped out the door and Rosalie flipped through her plans for the cabin. _

_I had no doubt that in the incoming days we'd be out bringing down trees and clearing land anyway. _

_I actually look forward to having something to do to occupy the day while composing music at night._

_-EAMC_

.

_It's been five months since I last wrote. _

_Two of the four cabins are complete and the furnishings for them will come in later this month. _

_We had to stop the work on the other cabins since the weather is turning cold now and we don't want to be conspicuous. _

_Rosalie, in a huff of annoyance, left the house._

_All is suddenly calm._

_._

_It could've been minutes or hours before I heard his voice. _

_It was more like a scream._

_I heard a bear growl._

_I looked up to see Carlisle and Esme's eye on me. _

"_You betting on the bear or the human?" I smirk._

"_I didn't hear a gunshot," Carlisle muses as he contemplates his answer while Esme sighs and looks back down to the papers in front of her. _

_I know she's been looking into various matters with the land with the road coming in through the mountain and encroaching on the line of our property. But inwardly she's concerned about my 'happiness" and is thinking of writing the Irish clan to see if I'd be suited with Maggie, after all. _

"_Your gifts suit each other," Esme would argue most ardently. With Maggie's gift of lie detection and my mind reading, we'd be quite a curious pair._

_I disagree._

_Although she's voiced these thoughts aloud and I have refused such an idea, I ignore these musings out of respect, but I still hear them all the time. _

_She's worried about me and she needn't be._

_It is inherently how she loves, I like to think, if concerns were tokens of affection. _

"_Bear," Carlisle finally decides. _

"_Perhaps a better bet would've been if Rosalie can control her bloodlust," I chuckle darkly. _

_Esme looks up with a gasp, cupping her mouth with her hand as if that would block the smell. "You think she'll be alright?" _

_Carlisle and I share a look of bemusement before he answers his mate. "Of course, love."_

"_I can smell the blood from here and I think it's getting closer." Esme said softly, looking around the room. _

"_The thoughts are getting louder so I'd say she's bringing the hunter here. There's screaming in my head from the man and the same shrillness of Rosalie's voice. She's trying to calm him."_

"_The bear got another one. How sad." _

_I agreed with Esme. "I'm pretty sure he'll be able to get the bear back someday."_

"_Why?"_

_I didn't even have to say anything more before Rosalie kicked open the door hard enough to break the door and bend the hinges. In her arms was a large bear of a man covered in his own blood. _

"_Carlisle!" _

_She looked at him pleadingly and then to me to silently beg to change the man but I gave her a shrug at looked back to Carlisle. _

_It was his call. _

"_You want me to change him." Carlisle surmised easily and Rosalie nodded adamantly._

"_Please!" _

"_What if he doesn't have the same affection toward you that you may be feeling toward him?" I ask, but it came out more spiteful than I expected. _

"_I don't care." She lied. "Save him, please."_

"_So be it." Carlisle took the man from Rosalie and laid him on the wood planked floor and began to process of the man's change._

_I watched in annoyance as he started screaming with each lacerating bite until he finally passed out from the pain. _

_Thanks to Rosalie his blood left a trail right to our house._

_If I knew anything, I knew that when someone went missing we'd have to leave the area soon after. There was no way we wanted to be on the wrong part of the law when police came around questioning._

_-EAMC_

.

Bella shut the book but left her finger into hold her place while she took several deep breaths in and out.

She could feel the morning sun peeking through the fluttering trees and casted rainbows throughout the greenhouse. Birds hopped easily inside and out through little cracks in the glass that seemed purposely made. They knew exactly where the feeders were and their birdhouses.

It was magical, hidden, and felt forbidden.

A little Garden of Eden and she could've been Eve.

But all the birds went quiet.

A flash caught Bella's eye and she quickly turned to see a stunning man standing before her within the shadows. His eyes, dark and mysterious, calculatedly studied her every move.

Her eyes moved from his face down to his hands.

A crisp, ruby red apple was cradled just under a beam of sunlight in his hands. But his hands were oddly different. They casted the same diamond- like rainbows that she saw moments before.

There was a noise just behind her and she turned out of instinct as her heart beat violently within her chest.

Perhaps it was one of the birds, she didn't know, but when she looked back into the shadows where the man stood, he was gone.

But the apple sat in her lap.

.

A/N:

Sorry it's late and short but sweet. I'll do my best to have nine up by this Thursday since I have to work. (Which is why this is so late.)

I work in a haunted house.

It's fun.

Thank you for reading. I hope you're all doing well!


	9. Chapter 9

.

The Journals

By Everleigh Allen

Chapter 9

.

_Gatlingburg, Tennessee_

_Smoky Mountains_

_1935_

_Carlisle tried to make the man's change as painless as possible, but the painkillers burned off before they could be of any comfort._

_Almost as soon as he woke up from his change, Carlisle and Esme watched in horror as the man mauled by the bear and now newly changed bounded up from the cot and went straight towards Rosalie. _

_She never saw him coming._

_He grabbed her by her waist and bounded through the nearest window to take her deep into the forest._

_My laughter was the only indication and confirmation that all was okay. _

_Rosalie was more than okay._

_I could see his thoughts. _

_She was his "angel that saved him." The same angel who faced a bear all on her own and carried him to safety. "Only an angelic being could do that." _

_We were all aware that she whispered her thoughts and dreams unto him as he writhed within the pain of the three day change. _

_Esme viewed the whole exchange with a sense of romanticism._

_Carlisle saw him as a possible asset to the family and was interested in testing his strength in his newly changed form._

_I saw a hostage with possible amorous affections to my would-be sibling. Perhaps he was keen on her because he was deprived of womanly affection and succumbed to her suggestion that she was his mate. But was it fated or only by occasion since she was his rescuer?_

_That remained to be seen._

_I know that he was unable to escape the bear, but would a match with Rosalie be a far worse fate? _

_But as time moves forward as it inevitably does, I can now appreciate in amusement Rosalie trying to handle a brutish but often hilarious, jovial man like Emmett McCarty as her mate. _

_._

_When they returned, we told Emmett what he became. We fully expected his reaction to be much like mine and Rosalie's but he didn't seem to mind. _

"_If this is Hell, at least I get to have an angel with me," he said. _

_Rosalie radiated._

_I rolled my eyes and clawed at my hair, willing the images he projected out of my mind._

_Esme swooned._

_It was as if Rosalie and Emmett were instantly and passionately in some kind of greedy, coveting desire. _

_I could see the regard between that bound them into their amorous affections but I didn't understand it._

_I am, alas, curious in the mating aspect of the unions of our kind. Is the mating connection inherent or is it something based out of obligation? _

_I was changed by Carlisle, as was Esme and Rosalie and we remained with him as companions- a family. Although Esme's connection to Carlisle is amorous and carnal, Rosalie and I still accompanying them as part of the clan. _

_But do we remain with him as a part of the family because we share the same crux of venom that changed us into our very nature? _

_Or because it's a moral obligation? _

_Would we all just know our soul's match?_

_Perhaps it's both the venom and the inherent moral obligations and attractions that bind us to Carlisle, but not to each other or him to us? _

_Would those whom possess your venom within them feel bound to you as their originator?_

_My thoughts go to a possible mate in my mind. My allusive mate is faceless. She's a silhouette within the shadows of my mind. Her back is arched, her body ready and willing and wanting for me to change her._

_Could I do it? _

_It is maddening._

_I know I could easily live without Rosalie for any amount of time happily and the sentiment is likewise, so the mating connection must have more fruition than just random circumstance or the same venom. _

_I didn't feel the connection with Tanya, either. She has had countless intimate connections and none of them she changed. Could have they been possible mates and she didn't know?_

_Why else would one so willingly give their self to another? There has to more than just to feed from and discard them? _

_Perhaps I have an antiquated sense of propriety that others like me don't possess._

_These thoughts plague my time, teetering on the splendid knowledge of eventually finding a suitable mate and a knowing that I won't._

_The constant chatter within anyone's mind is a reminder that I won't. _

_I would pick apart her thoughts, feelings, and actions. I would know if she if she was telling a fib and any secrets. I would know her most intimate desires and I would know if they were not of me._

_It would be a painful existence for both of us to be mated together. _

_So, alas, she doesn't exist._

_-EAMC_

_._

_Although I am glad Rosalie had the foresight to build additional cabins for each of us, it did little to mute the sounds of each couple coming together as often as they did. _

_I stayed in my own cabin or wandered the forests to get away from them._

_On one such occasion, I couldn't help but see the visions of three perspectives from Rosalie, Emmett, and the woman's mind. Rosalie yelled at him in annoyance as she watched Emmett succumb to his nature. At least she tried (but failed) to stop him._

"_Emmett slipped." I said loud enough for Carlisle and Esme to hear me. They could probably hear the woman's screaming anyway but it was still necessary to inform them in case they wanted to go help, which they did._

_That night we learned that Emmett loves apple pie. _

_Perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise when he ran straight from Rosalie and towards a woman hanging laundry just outside her home. _

_He said he ate the woman because she smelled like the pie his mother used to make and couldn't resist seeing if she tasted like it, too._

_She did not. _

_But as we pack the few belongings we've acquired since moving here months ago, it's time to leave again with Emmett's mishap._

_The plan is to go straight to Washington, finally._

_Emmett was upset to have to leave his family. Even after his change, he managed to provide game for them to survive on since just as he did since he was fifteen. I could tell from his thoughts that he was worried about how they'd manage when there suddenly wasn't anyone providing for them._

_So, just as we did for others like Rosalie and Esme's family, we helped Emmett put together a package to leave behind to help them out, too. _

_It was enough of a small fortune so his family would be okay without him._

_From then on Emmett never looked back._

_-EAMC_

.

_Town of Quillayute, Forks Prairie_

_Clallum County Washington_

_1936_

_We made it as west as we possibly could when we arrived in the town of Quillayute, otherwise known as Forks Prairie. _

_We just call it Forks._

"_Forks" Prairie was named because Ford's Prairie was taken. _

_That, and the town sat forked in the vicinity three rivers. It was claimed as a homestead by the Ford family and settlers soon came by river by boat or canoe to claim their parcel of land as well._

_I knew that Carlisle had a property somewhere in Clallum County but I didn't know he had more than one. He clearly and successfully blocked his thoughts about it, which only served to intrigue me more._

_He's also refusing to acknowledge my glares which inherently piques my curiosity._

_Something is amiss._

_Esme looks from me to Carlisle but doesn't say anything. We know that Esme's sister still resides in the other home that's farther inland. We stopped by with a basket of fresh items and another porcelain animal before Carlisle claimed we would be going farther west. _

_We all thought we would be closer to her than this coastal town._

_Carlisle has clearly been to the town of Quillayute, err Forks, before. _

_The town is small and mostly inhabited by the Quileute tribe with a few handfuls of families that work in the lumber and fishing industries._

_I notice as we drive into town there are a few odd looks. _

"_I'm going to introduce myself as the new doctor," Carlisle says quietly. His tone sends an ominous vibration throughout the whole car as he parks in front of a set of small prairie buildings that runs straight through the town. "Their physician is older now and I've set up that I'll be the replacement. You three will be our children- if you would like- so there will be fewer questions." _

_I cannot shake the feeling of being watched from the windows as the townsfolk start to notice our arrival. Their minds are a mix of curiosity and assumptions._

_We watch Carlisle get out of the car in his hat and scarf strictly in place. He nods in greeting but He looks far too dashing for the lot of them. Many men and women seem to be taken by surprise as he walks by them until he finally disappears through the door where he'll soon be working. _

_Esme turns to us with bright eyes and a soft smile. Just as she's about to speak, Rosalie cuts in. "I'm not going through high school." _

_Emmett quickly agrees but I take too long before Esme says that it's fine and that I could go alone. _

_I'm not fond of such a plan, but there's little alternative at the moment. I'll talk to her privately to share my concerns with schooling situation or the lack there of._

_I look far too old as most my age are already working for their families. _

_I know that Emmett is keen on the railroad, specifically the logging trains. He seems to think it would be hilarious to throw the logs on the train while the loggers look on. _

_Rosalie and Carlisle can thwart his plans, because I would personally like to witness it._

_Carlisle comes back to the car, blocking me again, and announces it's time to go to our respective homes he had built before we got there._

_-EAMC_

_._

_We see the plans for the main house under construction. It's is larger than the Tennessee home and thankfully much more spacious. _

_My house, however, is smaller and hidden deep within the forest next to a small pearlescent pond and an equally small prairie. It's not hard to see that the whole area used to be a small lake at one time. _

_It's just enough for me and far enough to shield the voices and amorous feelings of my family members._

_For that, I am grateful._

_The cottage is simple. The roof is made of wood and steel to help shield it from the snow. The walls are set in stone river rock, but much more professionally done. It looks like it could come off the pages of a storybook and I instantly love it._

_We meet to go hunt within the forest and it feels good to be so free._

_We can hear that there's a herd of deer close by and we quickly circle them and hunt them down, quenching our hunger._

_It isn't my favorite meal, but it fills the need sufficiently-_

_I can hear panic in my mind and I stop feeding. _

_My family follows suit._

_I stand hunched over our kill, waiting for them to show themselves. But the vision of them is completely unexpected. _

_Out of the foggy trees, we watch as three men with wooden wolf-like helmets and animal pelt shoulder covers cautiously come towards us for a closer look at us._

_The say something in a language I don't understand._

_Their thoughts are frantic, that much I can tell. I know they are confused._

_They know what we are; at least I think they do from the pictures playing through their minds from ancient stories._

_I quickly explain to my family that the Quileute's have come across our kind before. _

_Carlisle mind quickly goes to question if it's the same nomads he once met in Italy who begged to be sent to the Americas. Carlisle, on request from Aro, had accompanied them for a while until they disappeared while hunting the last time they all were here. _

_The nomads didn't disappear like Carlisle may have thought they did. They were destroyed._

_I can see the similarities and I confirm Carlisle's suspicions, although I suspect he already knew._

_I suck in my breath as the pictures play in their minds as they shout at us. I quickly repeat it to our family so they are also aware and ready for anything._

_There is shouting from them and we stand, dropping the deer at our feet. _

_Emmett moves in front of Rosalie as Esme slips behind Carlisle so it looks like we're evenly matched; less of a threat. _

"_We mean no harm," Carlisle says to them, hoping they understand. _

_They seem to… they still for a moment and are watchful. With a few tentative steps forward they are too close for my comfort. If they faze into wolves, they could overpower us quickly. _

_But I see it in their minds they are trying to see our eyes._

_The color. _

"_They want to see our eyes."_

_One man treads carefully closer, understanding my words. He drops the arm that's holding his useless weapon down at his hip. _

_Carlisle steps forward too, gently, and with slow, carefully placed steps. He starts rambling that we are new to the area that he's a doctor- the new doctor that is replacing the old human in town and that we are not like the others nomads that may have come before us. He tells them that we feed from animals, never humans, and that seems to appease them. _

_I hear the man register Carlisle's golden eyes. The color we get from feeding on animals and not the red like the others like us. I step closer, too when Carlisle looks at me. The man sees my eyes, gold, and then Esme smiles kindly and they see hers, too. _

_Rosalie and Emmett stay back. Hers are blacker from hunger and his is a mixture of gold and red that resembles dark amber, but it doesn't seem to matter. _

_Their broken English is quiet but we can all hear them clearly. _

_They believe us._

_We decide to meet again in the morning and try to make an agreeable treaty based on our land and theirs._

_Carlisle agrees, of course. _

_I am wary._

_As they fade back through the fog, our dinner is now cold and we quickly dispose of it and search out another. _

_I can't help see the images of their legends play in my mind:_

_A small boy is running through the woods. _

_He's laughing and there are feet behind his catching up. He thinks it's his brother, but it isn't. It's a man with black eyes and cold, hard, skin. He hits the boy off his feet with impossible strength and watches as the boy hits the ground with a thud. But to the man's amazement, there's a few snapping trees and a wolf appears. _

_He's snarling, pacing back and forth and watching his prey, ignoring the soft whimpers of his brother. _

_The brother has no idea the wolf is his kin. _

_The man hisses and crouches, deliberating how he's going to get his arms around the wolf somehow. _

_There's screaming in the distance. The man hisses as the smell of blood fills the air. _

_Grinning wickedly and sniffing the air, the man shows the malice etched into his features. His thirst is visible within his black eyes. He darts towards the smell of the blood, but it's too late._

_The wolf follows closely behind him but on wobbling paws. He stumbles and falls as he bounds through the forest. He's not used to running as a wolf. But he chases the man into their village the best he can. _

_The sight before his stops him in his tracks. _

_Several tribes' members lay dead and gray. _

_A elder woman is standing with a knife in her stomach and the wolf boy suddenly wails out in pain fumbling forward. It's enough of a distraction for the red-eyed woman and her mate. They are quickly ripped apart by two other wolves. _

_When the dust settles, the cold ones were ripped apart and thrown into the fire as their chief, his wife, and several others lay dead. _

_As the sun rises the next morning, it is calm and eerily quiet. The purplish smoke from the pyre mixes with the remaining fog from the night and filters into the evergreen trees. _

_It is ominous. _

_The wolves pace quietly. _

_Alert._

_They don't know how to faze back into their human selves yet, nor do they want to if there will be any other threat. _

_There isn't, but they don't know that. One seems to think there was another cold one, but isn't sure._

_They can speak to each other through their minds._

_One vampire sits as high as he can in the trees, hidden by the fog and smoke._

_He doesn't come close to the tribe. _

_He stays far enough away, watching._

_Edward looks at Carlisle. _

_He's unsure when the tribesman's memories moved into Carlisle's memories._

"_You were there." _

"_Yes," Carlisle looks forlorn. He blames himself for coming later, for noticing too late that the pair had evaded him. _

_This was one of the reasons that Carlisle chose then not to go back to Italy._

_Aro would see everything Carlisle witnessed and he'd know of the wolves, how the vampires got away from him and their demise._

"_And now that we're back?" _

"_A whole other set of wolves will faze." He answers quietly, even though I can read his mind. _

_I am left to my own thoughts as Carlisle relates everything back to the others quickly and we make plans to sign the treaty in the morning._

_-EAMC_

_._

Bella shivers as she closed the journal and set it on her lap. Her mind went back to the night that she and Charlie were invited to the bonfire night where they relayed the mythology of their ancestry. Most of them didn't believe the stories but then again they heard them often. There was no real proof anyone in the tribe changed into wolves, although most of the teens there wished they would.

It was an interesting night and one that she tucked in her memory.

But something troubled her in the back of Bella's mind.

They, the Cullen's, were there in Forks again when Bella was there and before she ever arrived.

How come the tribe never said anything about the Cullen's?

One man, Sam was larger than most of the other males. He watched Jacob carefully and Bella remembered it made him uncomfortable.

She took it as animosity between the two boys.

But thinking back, Bella remembered there were other boys that were just as muscular, just as strong as Sam. She remembered watching them jump off the cliffs and throwing other, smaller boys over, too.

They were mean.

Bully's that she stayed clear from.

But now she knew the truth.

Taking a bite of the apple, Bella wiped the juices that gushed over her chin. It was the best apple she ever tasted, probably.

At least that's what she told herself as she greedily consumed it.

All too soon, Bella made her way out of the greenhouse with the journal in hand, through the small closet and out of her room.

She was going to explore the house's secrets and maybe, just maybe, she would find Edward.

.

**A/N: **

**I shouldn't say Thursday because then the fates will conspire against me, which they did. I spent my days off helping my husband lay masonry walls for my back garden after my son smashed his fingers helping. He didn't listen to me when I said to go to another store to buy the right concrete gloves. He got the wrong ones. He got chemical burns all over his hands from mixing concrete by hand. But he's fine and my garden is taking a back seat.**

**Yes, I work in a haunted house in a haunted town that no one actually lives in anymore! (Technically, there's a fireperson who stays there overnight at the station just in case.) The town now is a series of old houses that consist of various stores and an ominous, tragic history. (Bonnie and Clyde even robbed the local bank and the gunshots are still there to this day.) The house I work in is 125 years old and said to be one of the more haunted buildings. It has a colorful history. The town was even showcased on the travel channel. It used to be a family home, a boarding house, a church, a doctor's office, apartments, a funeral home, and a hippie commune to name a few. The first day I started I was early and accidently tripped the alarm. I moved through the house and turned it off. I then went to unlock the store door and it green lit the code but the door refused to open. I tried again and again and nothing. Finally, I stood back for a minute or two and decided to wait for my coworker when the door unlocked on its own and I was allowed in. HA! She's got a mind of her own. There's nothing to fear, of course. Ghosts were people too. ;) **

**I alluded to a mating connection in the chapter and I had the following story in mind. If you haven't read the Mating Connection by witchyvampiregirl, you should. It's a favorite.  
fanfiction s/ 6913926/1/ The-Mating-Connection (remove spaces)**

**Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I knew the word "casted" was wrong but I couldn't think of anything better at the time but now it's been changed. Thank you for letting me know it doesn't fit. **


	10. Chapter 10

.

The Journals

By Everleigh Allen

Chapter 10

.

In memory of Gregory Tyree Boyce who played Tyler Crowley in the Twilight movies.  
I send love, gratitude, and condolences to his friends, family, and the fandom.

.

_Town of Quillayute, Forks Prairie "Forks"_

_Clallum County Washington_

_1937_

_The memories of Annie Belle Adams's immigration to the United States in 1932 from Manchester, England ran through my mind…. Again. _

_I turned away from her, of course, as she entered Carlisle's office. It was barely better than going to school and I could study for my doctorate exams in peace, except for the constant loop of sadness radiating from Annie Belle's memories._

_Annie Belle had a secret romance and marriage with an American soldier named Jeramiah Adams. Her family didn't approve of and instead of facing them together and staying in England, they decided to run away. _

_Jeramiah bought a ticket to America for Annie Belle before the ink was dry on their marriage certificate. It was a ticket to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and she would take the trains west to Washington and then a bus to a small town called Forks to wait for him._

_Jeremiah Adams never made it to Forks. _

_Annie Belle never found out why, nor did she ever know why he sent her to Forks specifically, but she had a constant reminder of him sitting on her hip._

_Marie was a beautiful child. She had her mother's thick blonde hair and soulful hazel eyes. _

_They were light brown at first glance but to Edward and those like him, could see the ring in fiery gold and greens which seemed to dart around with a knowing that a child her age shouldn't have. _

_Her thoughts were quiet with just a few blips coming through when she was upset. _

_Marie Adams was five years old with a firm upper lip that she must've inherited from her father. She seemed older than her five years and spouted off towards anyone who dared to look wrongly at her or her mother, much to her mother's chagrin. _

_But inwardly, Annie Belle smiled with pride for her child._

_Her Marie wouldn't be daft and falling for wounded soldiers like she did._

"_Sorry I'm late." Annie Belle smiled tightly as she moved through the office. She quietly placed Marie at the small desk that sat behind hers and quickly placed some paper and pens on the desk to entertain her daughter. _

_Esme moved into the office just as quietly, smiling happily at the little girl who returned her smiles._

_Esme was the only person (besides her mother) that Marie liked._

_Perhaps it was because Esme always made sure there were warm chocolate cookies for her every day Annie Belle had to bring her into work with her (which was daily since it was the summer.) _

_She was so quiet the clients often didn't even see her while her mother took their information._

"_How's the nursing degree coming along?" Carlisle asks kindly, knowing the answer. Marie's eyes dart to her mother but she quickly looks down again without a word. _

_Carlisle is patient and holds his smile, waiting._

"_I thought," Annie Belle whispered before she stiffened her spine and continued, "That I'd like to go for my doctorate instead of nursing." _

"_A woman doctor," Carlisle grins, bemused._

_I turn in my chair and the movement only makes Annie Belle think she's in for a fight, but I know Carlisle well. He knows that Annie Belle doesn't like handouts and giving her a check for her tuition would be destroyed (after careful consideration.)_

"_I can handle it." She huffs, her eyes bright with fire. _

"_Oh, I don't doubt it!" He laughs. "But how will you manage the time and curriculum?" He makes no mention of Annie Belle's struggles being a single mother. Our family knows the truth and that her husband had every intention of coming back for her. She was widowed and they had yet to figure out why she wasn't notified from the military yet. Perhaps they didn't know of the marriage? _

_They were still looking into it on Annie Belle's behalf._

_They had already created a trust for Marie in her father's name, but that wouldn't mature for thirteen more years and it wouldn't help Annie Belle at all in the meantime. _

"_I always manage," Annie Belle said quietly. It was the truth. _

_When she first stepped foot in Forks, Washington there was little help offered to her. She was British, alone, and had a small child. Annie Belle didn't offer any answers to the townsfolk, either, which made her an enigma. She took odd jobs at the diner and other stores when she could, but they barely made the ends meet. _

_When we moved into town, she was the first to greet us kindly and offered her help as a secretary. Even though Esme would've done the job effectively, the family was intrigued the headstrong woman. Most people avoid us but this woman ignored any and all of her reservations about us, being new once herself. Ultimately, hiring her made the transition into town easier for us. _

_She works as a secretary and Carlisle gives her a sustainable income. _

_She even owns one of the Cullen properties at the edge of town. _

_It was a proud moment. _

_But as she stands there visibly shaking to all of us, we can't help but be proud of how brave she is. _

"_She can start taking courses with me," I offer with disinterest before turning away. There's shock and elation running through her mind though her face doesn't show it. _

"_What an excellent idea, son!" Esme beams, sneaking Marie another cookie that she greedily eats. "I could help with Marie, of course." She says it as if it is the simplest thing ever but to Annie Belle her mind is spinning. Dreams are coming together that she doesn't dare trust yet. _

"_We can help you with the applications, too. We had to do them with Edward and Rosalie so they would be easy to fill out and help request scholarships, letters of praising-" _

"_That would be…" Annie Belle's eyes are brimming with tears threatening to fall, "lovely." _

_Marie grins and mouths a third chocolate cookie that appeared on the desk. It's too early to ruin her lunch. _

"_That settles it." Carlisle huffs in pride. "All is settled and we can get started today so someday you could be my replacement!" _

"_Oh," Annie Belle's mind races and I can't help my amusement in her thoughts. She's picturing herself in Carlisle's place and seeing the looks of everyone in town. _

_She'll show them._

_And I don't have to be a mind reader or fortune teller to know that she will._

_I just hope we're still around Forks to see it._

_-EAMC_

.

"Did you know that that was my grandmother?" Bella asks into the empty room. She had left her room and wandered the empty house for a while without seeing another soul. But the 1936 journal seemed to fall in front of her in front of every twist and turn so she knew she wasn't completely alone.

They were watching.

Finally, she relented and found a warm spot in the library to read.

"No, they didn't." Alice said as she appeared at Bella's side.

No one knew.

"You helped my great-grandmother, grandmother, and I'm guessing my mother- get their educations," Bella swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Yes. But we didn't know Renee was your mother. She used the trust money we set up for Marie."

"Thank you."

"Welcome!"

Bella smiled softly before biting back the tears. "I'm named after Annie Belle, _Isabella_. 'Oh, look at the wee lass, she _Is a Belle_\- ah!' Annie Belle had said when she first saw me. It was just before she died and the name stuck. Gran would mimic her mother's English accent each time we saw each other and I'd blush at the attention. I am named after both of them. Isabella Marie."

"That's beautiful."

Alice and Bella turned towards the new voice as they sat in the library.

With a gleeful clap Alice grinned.

"Esme?" Bella whispered in awe. The woman beamed and nodded, her sparkling caramel colored eyes matched her hair and in her hands she held a plate of chocolate cookies. Bella looked at them in disbelief before she let out a small sob. It was almost as if her Grandmother was right in front of her handing her the same cookies she ate throughout her whole childhood.

Esme didn't react as she placed the plate in front of Bella, but Bella instantly moved towards Esme, engulfing her in a tight hug. It was unexpected but Esme quickly wrapped her arms carefully around Isabella, trying not to breathe.

"I don't think I've hugged anyone like you since your great-grandmother and I dare say I feel the same warmth from you as I did with her." Esme chuckled lightly.

"You remind me of her." Bella smiled softly.

"Well, I sure hope so, I was the one who cared for her and taught her all I know."

"Including how to sew?" Bella asked suddenly as they slowly released each other. "Like the quilt on my bed?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Esme snickered coyly but Bella missed the jest.

"It's just that it's very similar to my mother's quilt. It was handed down from my great-grandmother to my grandmother and to my mother when I was born. It got lost in one of my mother's moves."

Esme looked at Alice and when she nodded she said, "We found this quilt in California, dear. It was brought on a camping trip just north of the Muir Woods. You were probably a teenager on summer break and in between visitations with Charlie and Renee. You're mother never lost in in a move. She may not have noticed it missing until later."

Bella couldn't help feel a rush of emotions with Esme's words. She knew her mother preferred California where she was born in Downey and then later lived in Riverside. Renee left California when she went camping with a friend along the pacific coast. It was then, on First Beach, that she met Bella's father, Charlie. He was different than the California guys she knew and she liked that about him. She quickly moved to Forks and they hastily married, much to Marie's disappointment. When Isabella was born, Marie sent Renee the heirloom quilt.

When the marriage ended, Renee moved back in with Marie and took Isabella with her to California before eventually moving to Arizona on a whim. She enjoyed the warmth and new adventures until she met Phil and left Bella behind to go back to Forks, Washington with her father.

"Why did you take it?"

"Well, we had met Alice by then and when we moved past it during a hunt, Edward had a reaction to the smell. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that it had the Cullen crest on it that I had sewn on so I knew who's it was instantly. I considered giving it back to Marie, but she had already passed away by then. So we kept it… for you."

Somehow, some way, the quilt from Bella's room appeared on the table before them. Bella brought the quilt up to her nose and smelled it, hoping for some lingering traces of her grandmother, but there was none. "Thank you." She whispered.

"Ready for more journals?" Alice asked. "I'm getting kind of impatient for you to find out about me in them."

"You could just tell me."

"Where's the fun in that?" Alice scoffed, tapping Bella on her head. "Besides, this is actually more fun than we've had in fifty years."

"What happened fifty years ago?"

"Um, read and find out!"

Bella looked to Esme who quickly agreed with wide eyes. "Yes, read the journals so you can learn about your new family."

"Wait, what?"

But it was as if Bella was speaking to thin air because the room was instantly empty except for a journal that plopped down in front of her in their wake.

She quickly grabbed a chocolate cookie and stuffed it in her mouth before opening it up to see what adventure was next.

.

A/N: I've taken creative liberties pertaining to Marie Adams- Higginbotham, her parents/ linage, her husband whom isn't known/ named and created a storyline how I imagined they would go within the timeline of events at the time and as it is presented within the story. I only added what the Cullen's had in interaction with Annie-Belle and Marie.

In my head, the Cullen's forge a Trust with enough money that is initially used for educational purposes as well as income for a down payment on a home, car, etc. Jeramiah Adams is eventually listed as "Deceased" and there are additional benefits added to the trust when that comes along. It isn't the same scholarship offered to Bella that brings her to Chicago; Bella does her best not to use the trust money. (Of course.) There is little insight or info on Marie's sordid life- other than she's bitter- or how she became a Higginbotham.

Kudo's to whoever knew or picked up the quilt references from the Twilight Books. ;) There will be more about the quilts later.

I thank you for your patience with the last posting and this one- it's a week late and early for Monday/ Tuesday postings. This chapter is shorter and I do often go back to other chapters to fix/add/subtract from them as we go along so if you do re-read them they may be different. The next journals will skip twenty years to Alice/ Jasper so we can move forward with Bella and Edward's story!

I hope all is well with all of you and your health and happiness remain safe.


	11. Chapter 11

The Journals

By Everleigh Allen

Chapter 11

Bella looked back at the journal in her hand once Alice and Esme left the room and realized she was alone again. It was something she was entirely too used to but it still left her a bit on edge.

.

_Bella placed a piece of the chocolate cookie in her mouth and chewed it carefully as she watched her grandmother. Her frail frame seemed misleading, to how spry the woman could be. She could remember a seventy or eighty year recipe but not her own daughter if she walked through the door. Most days Bella sat in silence or read aloud, but she always wondered if Gran could hear her. _

_But after a conversation with her mother about Gran, they knew their time together would soon be gone. Soon she'd succumb to the illnesses that plagued her, much to her dismay. The plain, drab white walls of the assisted living community Gran lived in matched the mood. There were no pictures of a life well lived, or the vibrant woman Bella remembered growing up._

_"My mom said you used to be a painter. __Did you paint landscapes or people, Gran?"__ Bella didn't know what to expect with her question or if Gran would even answer. __The ceiling fan clicked after each rotation counting down each precious second so__Bella continued, "I mostly draw landscapes but sometimes people although I have to concentrate to get them symmetrical.__Gran, do you have any of your paintings left? Can I see one?" _

_"I painted, yes."_

_Bella tried to contain her excitement that her gran was lucid. It wasn't often. "What did you paint?" _

_"I painted the most beautiful meadow."_

"_That sounds lovely." _

"_Flowers. Trees. I saw him once. He was just like I remembered." _

_Who?"_

_"He walked out of the meadow, just for a moment. I thought I was dreaming. Heaven sent an angel for me finally. "_

_Tears filled Bella's eyes as she held her grandmother's hand. _

_"Just as I remember him as a child. The clouds moved and I saw him change into his angel form right before my eyes before he slipped away into the trees. It wasn't my time to go yet." She frowned._

_"Who greeted you? Grandfather?"_

_Marie's face turned hard and sharp eyes darted at Bella._

_The answer written all over her face. _

_No._

_"Who then- who's your angel?"_

_"It was cold. I shivered and he saw it. He never missed anything; every sound, every thought, every whisper. He gave me his quilt because I was cold."_

_Goosebumps covered Marie's flesh but she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes moved over the room as if she was searching for the mysterious man but when he wasn't there, she settled back into the chair with a sense of frustration._

"_The same quilt you gave my mom when I was born?"_

_Marie's lips puckered in distaste like she usually did when her thoughts or words were sour. "I never gave that quilt to your mother, child. I gave it to you."_

_"Oh," Bella swallowed. "And when she lost it you stopped speaking to her."_

_Marie's eyes darted to Bella with a flash of anger. "I never stopped talking to my daughter. Is that what she told you?"_

_It was Bella's turn not to answer but it was written all over her face anyway. _

_Gran frowned and looked away from her granddaughter. "Well… She lied."_

"_I suppose she did." Bella agreed, but she knew that the phone worked both ways and there was a long period of time that the two stubborn women didn't speak. It didn't really matter anymore, nor did the reasons for why their relationship was strained. "Does your angel have a name, Gran? I bet he does. Please tell me."_

"_It's a secret." A small but mischievous grin graced her features and created stretching from her eyes and down her cheeks in memory. "I keep waiting for him. I know he has to have passed by now. Any day he'll come for me."_

_Bella watched her grandmother's eyes grow distant and knew instantly she was lost in her own thoughts and memories. Perhaps she was dreaming of her angel._

"_Please tell me… just a name, anything."_

"_Who's name?" _

"_Your angel." _

"_Oh, simple," Gran chuckled. "Edward is my angel."_

_._

Bella jolted as the door swung open behind her. Esme moved easily through the room so easily it almost looked like she was floating. "I didn't want to interrupt you. You looked like you were immersed in your thoughts."

"You didn't interrupt. I was just about to read the journal you both left when I started thinking of my grandmother."

"Ah, yes." Esme grinned. "I thought you already finished it. You've been sitting there a while."

"I have?" Bella looked around the room but there wasn't any clock to be seen. If it wasn't for meals, Bella wouldn't be able to tell how long she had been there.

The raindrops on the window reminded Bella of her memory with her Grandmother. "You said that you gave them each a quilt."

Esme grinned. "I did."

"And that Edward gave Marie his quilt."

Esme's eyes widened in surprise, "How did you know that?"

"Memories," Bella bit at her lip nervously, not sure how much she should say. But with Esme's kind resolve, she thought it would be best to just tell her recollection. "My Gran was older and was going to pass away. My mom had stopped visiting because she seemed to trigger my Gran that Renee wasn't who she said she was. Sometimes, my mother would sit just outside while I went in, but she finally stopped coming altogether. Gran didn't usually remember me most days, either, but she seemed to be lucid for a bit that day."

"I understand."

"She said when she was younger and cold, Edward gave her a quilt to keep her warm. She ended up keeping it and gifted it to my mother- I mean, to me- when I was born. It was lost at some point and we never really talked about it again. Renee didn't want to tell Gran that the quilt was lost."

"That's reasonable."

Bella nodded in agreement. "Apparently, my grandmother was a painter. I wanted to see her art. But if there were any of her paintings left, they weren't at the home she was in. My mother didn't remember seeing any of her art but I also wouldn't expect that she would keep it even if she did. My mother isn't very sentimental."

"A lot of parents aren't, but they may surprise you on what they consider sentimental." Esme whispered, cupping Bella's hand.

Bella just shrugged. "Gran said she painted a meadow. Anyway, she said that a man named Edward was her angel and he was going to come back to take her to Heaven. She wasn't speaking of my grandfather. She died before our next scheduled visit, but we did get to say goodbye."

"Heartbreaking. I would've loved to see her, myself." Esme rose from her chair abruptly. "Why don't you find a more comfortable spot to read the journal than in here? The parlor is just through that door and you will find that's it's already been warmed up for you."

A rush of excitement for being able to see another part of the home sent a thrill through Bella. She quickly grabbed the journal and the bottle of water that suddenly appeared before her.

She grinned as she grasped it and moved through the door Alice had showed her.

.

Bella walked into a room that looked like it faced the bustling Chicago street without anyone wiser of its existence. She could see through the stained glass window that there was another pane just outside it, tinted dark. It reminded Bella of mirrored glass. There was no doubt that the passersby would see themselves in the glass and think it was just another set of offices.

Then the thought crossed her mind of all the times she passed by the same mirrored glass windows, unaware of being watched from those inside.

Her goosebumps rushed over her skin giving a spike of fear based adrenaline.

The door swung open with a rush, diverting her attention from the window and Bella instantly moved towards the now open journal that sat on the chair by the fire as she passed a glance around the empty room. The dark blue walls tinged warmer by the fire gave off a false sense of comfort as Bella sat down. She saw a domed tray on the table before her and greedily opened it up with a grin on her face, eager to see whatever was left inside.

There were three chocolate cookies that Esme made and a bottle of water, but there was also a little note.

One little word written in the middle of the card:

"Soon,"

Bella read it aloud, her voice cracking in the silence. She chanced a glance behind her, hoping to see him again, but the wooden door was closed and she was alone.

.

_Forks, Washington_

_1950_

_I was glad to see the sun through the clouds today, knowing that I didn't have to leave the house. Emmett and Rosalie went off to hunt sometime in the night leaving Esme, Carlisle, and me alone. _

_Esme wandered into the office. She had "retired" from being in the office and it was now completely in Annie Belle's care. We watched from afar as Marie grew up and left for California. The ocean "called for her," she said, and left too soon for us to say goodbye. _

_I already planned to make a trip or many to the Muir Woods area to see about getting some property along the northern California coast, if possible, and Esme was working on some plans that wouldn't take away from the scenery while also hiding us well enough to not feel like prisoners in our own home._

_California or even Oregon would be a-_

_Wait._

_I hear other voices nearby coming closer._

_Carlisle and Esme instantly stilled but it was Esme who spoke. "What it Edward?"_

"_I can see from their minds they are like us." I said quietly. The female turns and smirks at a male. He looks like he's barely containing himself, eyes bright red. I can see scars lining his face, neck and they disappear under his clothing. _

_Carlisle and Esme flank my sides. I see the worry and the questions blur out the thoughts of the two coming closer. _

"_We have visitors coming and they are taking their time getting here."_

_Humans?" Esme asks, wiping the flour off of her hands with her apron before she takes it off._

"_No," _

"_Wolves?" Carlisle asks carefully, eyes narrowed and watching me and the door. His thoughts instantly turn to Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett tends to go a little too close to the treaty line just to taunt the wolves and give them something to do._

"_No." That's enough to know. _

"_When?" Carlisle risks a glance at the clock and I look at it, too. In an instant I can see the female vampire see the clock in her mind but it skips several minutes. I shake my head in disbelief. _

"_Five minutes," I whisper, "they seem to know to avoid the wolves, not sure how. Perhaps the smell?"_

"_That's possible." Carlisle mused. _

"_Are they part of the guard, Edward? Are they friend or foe?"_

_I can't seem to tell yet. The woman flashes her face into my mind and I see her caramel colored eyes. I then see us opening the door to them and watch in disbelief as the female envelopes me into a hug as if we were long lost friends. She's tiny and her mate is protective. I relay the information presented to Carlisle and Esme._

"_A psychic gift?" Esme gasps in delight while Carlisle starts plotting how this would be beneficial to our coven if they choose to stay with us. _

_I consider not opening the door and instantly I can see the vision she shows me in rapid speed change with my thought. "Huh." _

"_What?" Carlisle asks. Only his mouth moves, the rest of him in frozen in place on the rug._

"_Her visions change as different thoughts make different choices. If I answer the door she'll give us a hug. If I choose to leave the door closed, they'll break it down and give us a hug."_

"_I just got that door, Edward. Emmett ruined the last three. Perhaps I will open it?"_

"_The vision changes and there is still hugging. It seems unavoidable. The female seems to have seen us from about thirty years ago when she woke up from her change."_

_It all plays out for me as I tell Carlisle and Esme like the stories played on the radio: _

_._

_"Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no…" She whined, panic welling inside her gut. She woke up from the worst pain she has ever felt, her body writhing and burning in the darkness. She knew she must still be in solitary._

_She must be._

_She needed to get out of here._

_Her breathing burst out of her chest in short panicked gasps. Her eyes seeing everything in the darkness, everything was in shades of purple, everything was quiet outside. She began rocking to comfort herself, her chest burning, literally burning her alive. Her brain couldn't comprehend it._

_Her mind raced, taking everything in._

_Metal door, purple room, padded grey__. The smell of urine permeated in through her nostrils. __Urine and old blood, dirt, vomit, body odor__. It was the room. It was her. She was mortified. She cupped her hand over her mouth and nose, holding her breath. After a few minutes, she gasped but it was in vain. It was as if holding her breath and breathing didn't matter anymore. She could have held it forever and never breathe again, but that idea terrified her._

_"__Hello__?" She called out, hearing movement outside._

_The picture of an orderly popped in her mind, she almost recognized him._

_Man shuffling forward to the door, nervous, worried about opening the door. __Suddenly, it was as if everything shifted within her mind.__ He was going to open it. But he's stalling, possibly scared?_

_Pictures shifted in her mind. __A pregnant woman rubbed her stomach with love as she laughed at something silly. The man from outside the door, his wife…__There was a flashing of colors and she warily raised her hands to her forehead, her eyes tight trying to see clearly.__ Pink. Lots of pink, a cry… a baby girl within the blankets, standing in front of a house... a blue house, they're buying the blue house. More worry, more fear._

_"Hello?" She called out louder._

_There was scratching outside the door. "Alice?" He called, wary._

_"Yes?" her eyes darted forward, then side to side._

_Keys jiggled in the door, "Are you… are you okay, Alice?_

_"Yes. I think so." The idea lingered in her head. Was she okay? Her mind worked a thousand times faster than before, more vivid sight, her ability was far more superior, and- and she could see in the dark! She could hold her breath indefinitely… She was having the worst heartburn… ever._

_"I'm opening the door, stay where you are, alright Alice? I mean it. Stay. There." His voice was oddly creaking but she could hear him swallow. __Odd__. Then she thought that it was as if she could hear for miles. A Model T being driven down the dirt drive. An owl cooing in the tree, in the whistling wind. But she could hear someone screaming, it was within the building… the shuffling of feet in that direction… panicked words, frantic movements to control her._

_And then the door cracked open._

_Delicious warm smells seeped inside. She breathed deeply as she watched as his hand pushes open the door slowly. His eyes grew wide. She watched his veins pumping wildly, he was nervous._

_"Alright," She answered her chest demanding, hungry, hot fire. She shook her head, not understanding what was going on and trying to resist the impulse to attack him and feed on his blood._

_Eww. Gross__._

_"I… I don't think I feel very well," She said, her voice pitchy._

_"It's okay, Alice, relax." His voice was soothing._

_She nodded quickly, willing her body to cooperate, fight the madness._

_"Let's get you to your room, Alice. We'll get you to your room. You'll feel better in your own bed."_

_"Right-" She nodded again, and stood up. It seemed a swift movement, and he took in air at the sight. Concentrating on her movements, she slowly stepped out the door. He fitted his arm around her shoulders refusing to look at her too closely. He seemed to shudder at her touch, but he was warm, very warm. And his scent was mouthwatering. She started compulsively swallowing, willing herself not to attack him, his body throbbing delicious warmth. She scared herself._

_The man led her down the hall._

_"Put your head down Alice. Don't let them notice you."_

_She thought that was an odd comment, but she nodded and obeyed. They walked rigidly and from the corner of her eyes she could see people, patients around her. Her mind flashed wildly seeing their futures lined out in front of them, most living there lives out here. One was idly chatting to herself, and another was trying to eat her own hand, one sewing. But some were vicious, one of which was plotting what she would do to another patient in the room. She shuddered, shaking her head and looking away from their hollow, dark eyes._

_"She… she…" Alice stammered shaking her head, willing the visions out of her head as she pointed then lowered her hands, shaking. She remembered her visions were not well accepted. The doctors and staff did terrible things to her every time she expressed them. She bit her lip, shaking her head._

_"Calm down, Alice. Everything is alright." He hurried more quickly down the hall._

_Alice looked up seeing a woman she didn't recognize. The woman gasped at her, her eyes bulging, shaking her head wildly. "Demon! __Demon__!" She called pointing after them. The man turned her down the corner and ran._

_"She called me a… __demon__?" Alice's voice was high pitched, distressed._

_"What was that, Alice?"_

_Why did he keep saying her name like that? She looked at him, and he turned his head to her with a smile, then he gasped with a look of fear on his face._

_"Your eyes-" he pointed at her, stumbling._

_"My eyes? What is wrong with them?" She could feel the tears coming, but not came. Her face just felt contorted._

_"They're red!"_

_"Cause I was in the dark so long?"_

_"Holy Mary, Mother of God." The orderly started to pray loudly, grabbing her arm and pulling her in yet another direction._

_He led her downward, pulling her as she tried to turn around. She felt empowered and unbelievably strong, but she could see she would hurt him badly with any sudden movements. He didn't want to hurt her and she didn't want to hurt him. She could see that he was leading her down to the morgue and then maybe out the door._

_"You're letting me go?"_

_"He said," The orderly swallowed, "he said you'd wake up different, Alice. He said to lock you up… to protect you, save you."_

_She listened to his words, though they didn't seem to make sense. "Who did?"_

_He mumbled incoherently, "… but he said you'd be different. I didn't get there in time, though… I'm sorry Alice, but you have to get out of here. You have to leave. I'll leave some clothes outside for you- outside this door- in the morning."_

.

_I relayed all of it for my parents. Esme gasped in horror. Carlisle held his tongue. There was a knock at the door. _

_I was the only one who moved to open it. _

_A small, fairy-like woman with choppy black hair and light eyes showed me our hug as she moved her arms around me. My eyes instantly darted to the male with her but she quickly released me and engulfed Carlisle next, and then Esme._

"_Don't worry, Jasper is just not used to having a family just yet," she grinned. "I've waited for you all for so long. Hi! I am Alice Whitlock and this is my mate, Jasper." _

_Instantly there was an odd wafting calm pushed toward us from Jasper as he introduced himself as Major Jasper Whitlock._

"_You're even better than I ever expected!" She bounced, clapping her hands. She reminded me of the southern belle my mother once introduced me to and in an instant, I could see her change was right around mine. _

_I watched her memories as she played them out to me, this time I just silently watched as she prattled on._

_._

_Alice sat on the bank of the water with her arms crossed over her knees and plopped her head on her arms and winced at the odor. She still smelled of solitary._

_Her face scrunched as she heaved an unnecessary sigh. Her body was acting oddly and it was causing distress. Her chest boiled like liquid lava and each swallow caused the recoil of a thirst that was dominating her train of thoughts. And her mind seemed to have an abundance of room in there for thoughts._

_Blood. __Drink blood.__ Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. BLLLOOOOOOD. __Blood.__ Red. Juicy. Thick. Delicious. Blood. You __want__ to drink it. You __need__ to drink it._

_"No." she gulped but it was worse. "It's all in my head. It has to be all inside my head. Something else to overcome… she could add it to her list of crazy._

_Her eyes lifted to the trees. She needed a distraction. Her mind was going a mind a minute and her arms around her legs were more holding her body back from going back into the sanitarium to eat all of the delicious warm people locked inside like sardines; their blood basting the muscles with each mouthwatering heartbeat._

_"Oh God! I am going insane!" she shrieked._

_You were already insane__. A little voice in her head reminded her._

_She frowned, mouthing vain curses._

_Sun. Concentrate on the Sun._

_The sun had tucked itself down into the trees, leaving glittering bronze sunlight seeping through the leaves. They are peaceful trees, old and secretive. __They are very boring trees. And sitting is boring, too. __But this was her first twilight of freedom and she wanted to watch the sun go down._

_She wanted blood._

_The sun dipped low, casting red dusky lines of light at her. Her skin illuminated from diamonds to rubies. Blood rubies._

_Blood._

_"Hurry up already!" She glowered, "stupid sun." The wind tickled through her hair and danced around her, as if taunting her._

_But yet there wasn't any sound._

_She hadn't notice it before. It was eerily quiet. Alice looked around, eyeing the trees and the water, but there wasn't a soul._

_She growled in frustration. The noise frighteningly curled off her tongue so easily it scared her. She gasped, her hand cupping her mouth._

_Then it was if the water rippled away from her. It was as if she heard the slight ripple. Her body recoiled, defensively as her eyes moved cautiously over the water._

_"Who's there?" she called out. But there was no answer. She felt crazy excited- like a predator almost- but the quiet was unnerving. She froze, waiting, concentrating… then she heard the soft paddling under the water, and she quirked a devilish smile. "There you are!" Her eyes watched the water, tracking, as her mouth pooled with saliva._

_She jumped up and the next thing she knew she was in the murky water, arms wrapped tightly around the thick torso of an alligator. It opened its mouth, trying to bite onto her as it thrashed its tail wildly, causing them to spin. She tightened her grasp, sinking her teeth into the scales, and started to suck blood from the beast. She sucked in long, hard pulls, vaguely noticing that it slightly eased the burning in her chest._

_After a few moments, the gator's body stopped thrashing and stilled, its green glossy eyes that were once cunning and wild, dulled. Alice frowned, wiping her blooded mouth on her shoulder before she released the heavy body back into the water, and slowly waded back to the shore._

_"I've lost it. I've lost it," she murmured. She drank a huge alligator's blood._

_Gross__._

_But it was good. Sooo good._

_Alice's eyes were wide, taking in what had just happened. She turned her head, seeing the alligator's body drifting away down the stream, refusing to believe it. Refusing to believe what she had just done. It was sad. It was wrong._

_But why did she feel slightly better? More full?_

_The blood._

_The idea came to her and she froze._

_That idea was definitely not normal._

_She stared into the nothingness. She had changed. Something was very wrong with her. She knew that. __Red eyes, sparkling skin, inhumanly fast._

_Something was very, very wrong._

_._

"_So Alligators?" I smirked as we took turns sitting around the large living room. "Once Emmett hears about you wrestling alligators, he's going to want to try it." _

_Alice grinned with a clap of her hands. "Done. I can already see it!" _

_I watched it all play out in her mind. Emmett, whom she didn't even meet yet, was muddy and wrestling every alligator he could get his hands around while Rosalie looked bored on the bank. _

"_When will the rest of the family be along?" Jasper drawled, eyes moving over the three of us but landing finally on his mate. We all looked to her, too, and she grinned with the attention._

"_Tomorrow morning," She answered confidently. I could see Emmett and Rose moving through the door just as the sun breached the trees. I fully expected to see them walk through the door in that moment, the vision was so vivid._

"_I can't wait to learn about our new family." She clasped her hand over Jasper's. I was so preoccupied with the movement and Alice's mind that I didn't notice how uncomfortable he was around me. _

"_You're without a mate." Alice said silently in her mind, eyes not even focused on me. I looked away from her, sinking farther into my chair. _

_I put the question of my mate in my mind, just about to ask her when she senses it, and answers._

"_Keep writing," She giggles mentally. "Someday, she'll be reading these very words."_

_Before I could even ask anything about her, I saw her mind slam shut. Alice faked a yawn and went to my room and claimed it as theirs, leaving me without._

_-EAMC_

.

A/N: So I had talked to my mother and found out my grandmother was also an artist. I have one piece my grandfather gave me that she made and still have it to this day, but I don't remember (neither does my mother) if she kept anything else. I based Marie off of my grandmother. The above was a bit about the convo I had with my mother, Bella's take of Marie/ the quilt, and a dream I had about it.

I realize that the time from of Bella as she meets E in Chicago deviates from the original timeline. I also understand the books took place in 2008 and there are discrepancies on time. So, for clarification… I still have Marie dying but not really definable timelines.. but Bella is older and the timeline is still Oct 2019- and she's in college. Edward, who will always be 17- is more of a mature adult than his teenage cannon alter.

Fun fact: "Annie Belle Higginbotham" was a real person. I found her doing research on the Higginbotham name. She was from England and she moved to the states sometime (if I remember right) in the 1600's. That is who I based Marie's mother off of for this story.

Also, a long time ago I wrote Alice and Jasper's POV on life before they found each other in a story called "A Soft Place to Fall." I loved the story but I pulled it a long time ago. Since E is a mind reader, I will be adding some of that story in this one pertaining to his journals and their stories. So it'll be E's POV of what Alice and Jasper are mentally showing him, but not the entire story.

I hope you are all well. My husband has been ill and was tested yesterday, just in case. I feel fine. With work and everything going on, updating may be a bit difficult here or there, but I will update and finish this story so no worries there.

Thank you for your patience, for reading and you're kind reviews. I appreciate all of you and your thoughts.


	12. Chapter 12

_The Journals_

_By Everleigh Allen_

_Chapter 12_

_._

_"Tell us about yourself," Esme smiles softly at Jasper. I see Jasper's mind race and as I sit holding my pen in hand, I watch his memories play out. I carefully pen them down to give me something to do._

_The others sit and dance around their histories which I've heard a thousand times before. I try to concentrate on what they say and don't say. _

.

_Texas _

_Sometime in 1940_

_Deep in the night, Maria laid in the bed, covered by the white sheet. Her dark skin contrasts beautifully in the moonlight. Her eyes were coaled black while her lips were red and glossy. Long, black hair wisped in sequence with the breeze. It was an illusion of seduction and she mastered it; a submissive gesture meant to lure in her prey; human and vampire alike._

_Maria laughed with her husky voice, murmuring in Spanish- the sweet flowing words that drew you in as her body moved over the bed. Her burgundy eyes widened as a pout plumped her lips. She would sit and wait for your move, giving you that false sense of trust and control. But Jasper could see the wickedness behind her grin, the way her fingers curled, drawing her lovers into her lair as they took in her fiery scent. He had witnessed it first and second hand, countless times before._

_But those who refused her never made it back out the door and sometime neither did those who didn't refuse her._

_Maria did allow a certain amount of dominance in her partners as she did enjoy the wicked __dance with the devil,__herself__. But she had rules about it and never let her guard down enough to fall victim to anyone. Because all else aside, she enjoyed being the predator. She liked the hunt, the seduction, the sex and then the meal; a true succubus._

_She moaned as the warm air breezed through out the room. She lay on her back, writhing under him; his arms were splayed on either side. His eyes were almost closed but he was concentrating on his emotions. He didn't want her to feel the disdain he had for her. Not yet. So he made the emotions lustful and was careful to keep it that way._

_There was a time when he gave his emotions freely to her. He showed her the love and lust and affections he had and he expected her to feel the same way for him. And there was a time that he thought she did, but she put on a good show, He soon he realized she was really just feeding off of his emotions toward her._

_She was incapable of love or even any amorous, affectionate emotions._

_She wanted lust, not love. She wanted sex, not love. However, she wanted to __feel __his love and devotion for her, but refused to give anything in return. To her, love was a submissive release of power and she was neither willing nor capable of it. And Maria had made that perfectly clear long ago when he found out sex with her was something most of the men in their coven took part in, too._

_He was not anything special to her._

_Sex with her was part of the job description__. Jasper scoffed, disgusted with himself._

_She whispered erotic Spanish words, that past in the Texas breeze. They were as empty as the air._

_"Tell me, mi amor," She cooed._

_His jaw clenched, steadily thrusting into her, trying to get it over with. Her eyes widened, watching him, waiting._

_"Tell you…what?" he gasped. He knew she wanted to hear his love for her, his devotion to her. They were words he couldn't say anymore._

_He would take the repercussions._

_He moved slowly over her, the motion was systematic, unfeeling. But she moaned as her eyes rolled backward and her hands groped his chest, moving over his pecks, hooking behind his neck. He shook off the embrace moving more quickly in and out of her as her arms clutched his shoulders piercing him with her nails. He growled angrily, narrowing his dark eyes on her as she smiled._

_"Jasper, quiero oirlo," __I want to hear it, __she says, but she means feel it and her aggressive tone softens slightly as Jasper sends out a minimal amorous mood._

_She pulls his shoulder to her face and he snaps backward, exiting her body. He stands naked across the room. His glare was a warning._

_"I mean what I say." She says roughly, her legs move seductively. It's a command but he was unwaveringly glaring at her, allowing the passion dissipate at his will, and the true evil angry-excitement permeating from her to consume them. He let his loathing flow freely off of him._

_She felt the change instantly._

_"You want my submission, not my love."_

_She smiles again, pleased with the game, but clucks her tongue. "Jasper," she scolds. "I have your heart. As I always have."_

_Jasper made a disgusted sound and Maria's burgundy eyes glinted with anger for a moment before she caught the reaction. But he could feel it rippling off of her, though she smiled sweetly. It was a fine line of lust and violence._

_"Jasper, you love me. I can feel your love."_

_"You felt what I let you feel. What I thought I felt for you. The love was unrequited. I don't love you, Maria nor do you love me. You know that."_

_"You still love." Her accent curled off her tongue, easily dismissing his comments, "I want to hear… it." She says again, in English. She plays with a lock of dark hair and bites her lip._

_"I don't love you, Maria. You feel what I __want __you to feel." He cocked his head, watching her, "Is that what you wanted to hear?"_

_Her excitement grows at his tone as she pulls at her hair and then casually lowered her gaze over his manhood, "Such games you play. You belong to me. I own you." Then she looked up at his face, smiling at his reaction._

_"I don't belong to you any more than you have ever belonged to me." _

_Maria frowned at his words. She drew her legs together, watching him carefully. Jasper had once been convinced he was her mate but he could feel the same feelings from other males as he destroyed them for her._

_"You do. And I asked you a question," She snarled, her eyes narrowed. "I won't ask again."_

_"And I won't make love- without __feelin__' it."_

_"You can't be with the others, Jasper! Only me."_

"_We are not mated." He scoffs. "Besides, I don't want the others." He lowered his voice and his glare, "or you." _

_She moved over the bed, trying again to seduce him. "Your words are not well chosen." She hisses like the viper she is, "Perhaps someday you won't be here any longer." She looked off to the side of his face, "I will mourn you," and curved a wicked smile._

_He scoffed at that. He was not easily killed. All of her attempts and all of his challengers were in vain He didn't know why he allowed her to live. "You may get your wish, darlin'."_

_Maria laughed at that. She crawled over the bed toward him, her heavy, voluptuous breasts hanging vertically and swaying with her movements._

_Jasper growled, deep within his chest. _

_It was aggressive and it made his body rigid. She moaned gasping his name but all he could see was his past eighty five years under her control._

_He was a fabricated commander of her 'Army' after she had taken his human life._

_They killed countless people with future. Killed whole families, some they fed off of, others were turned for Maria's selfish needs._

_He trained countless men and women who trusted him, who were his friends, and given her command he destroyed them without question._

_He had even killed her sisters after Maria expressed fear of them, as they were a threat, and demanded their deaths._

_He had done it all without question. He had done it to prove his love, his devotion to her, always longing and expecting her affection. Never once had she given it._

_He felt everything. _

_"Maria?"_

_"Si Jasper!"_

_"I hate you."_

_"The sex game is over, Jasper. Come lay." Her words were empty. He would be able to feel them if they were true. So he lifted his eye brows, in question, pulling on his shirt. She had a frown, her head cocked to the side as her hair spilled over one of her breasts, leaving the other exposed._

_He stood silent, defiant. Jasper pulled on his boots, one eye trained on her, always. Her eyes glinted with anger and he could feel her temper and the rejection immediately. But they were just another manipulation as she didn't really care about him or whether he came to her and when… just as long as he did._

_There was a shuffling of boots on the wooden porch. Jasper moved his head minutely, sensing eagerness and desire._

_"Ah, I guess it's too late, sweetheart, looks like your next lover has arrived," He smirked, winking at her._

_She glared at him harshly, her lip twitched._

_The door got two knocks and opened to a tall, dark haired man. He wore an anxious grin, his eyes were bright red and he looked with confusion and jealousy between Maria and Jasper._

_A look Jasper had seen a thousand times._

_And oh, how Maria loved having a jealous lover. She was going to have fun with him._

_The man reminded him of himself, so long ago.__ Jasper thought, he just hoped Aaron survived to see it through._

_"Good luck son," Jasper patted the man's shoulder, as Aaron smiled brightly._

_"Thanks!"_

_._

_Edward looked at Jasper for a moment before the next memory played out. As soon as his pen hit the paper, it all played out._

_._

_Julio's laughter interrupted Jasper as soon as he closed Maria's door. _

"_What's it matter?"_

"_Well," Julio's eyes were wild, "Seems to me you've had some fun with her."_

"_She's my mate-"_

_"Your mate," Julio scoffed, "she tell ya that?"_

_Jasper hissed at his words knowing full well his words were empty but he raised his arms defensively anyway. Julio laughed at the motion._

"_Gonna fight me Jazz? Gonna teach me a lesson? That's rich! You're the one marked for death."_

_Jasper froze at the words, his mind raced back to the way she had moved with him, touched him, and pleased him. She had laughed at his candor, smiled as she seduced him, and mirrored his words and actions. He watched Julio, his eyes tightening._

"_Got yourself a mark there… on your neck. Don't cha know what that means? Didn't she train you, herself?"_

_Jasper's jaw clenched as he remembered how she trained him, how she moved, teaching him offences and defenses. There wasn't anything he could recall about marking someone, other than seeing the mark on someone._

_But he wasn't about to tell Julio all that._

"_Guess she kept that biddy to herself round you." He sighed shaking his head, "Maria taught us… some were marked for a reason."_

_He still felt the tension rippling off Julio. He was restraining himself now from attacking… for the moment._

"_So why are you here, Julio? Go back to your quarters." Jasper put command in his voice._

"_Can't."_

_Jasper nodded in understanding. He had enough military training to know Julio saw Jasper now as the enemy. He was marked. _She_ had marked him to be destroyed. Julio would challenge him for his rank, for command of the army, for Maria._

_He was ready when Julio lunged for him._

_._

_Jasper and I stared at each other, both with mirrored expressions of tension as he continued to pick out memories for me to see. To everyone else, I imagine, we looked like we may go at each other at any moment, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. _

_Of course, I've heard stories and have seen others take a person as their perceived mates, but I always thought it was something felt mutually to work out. Never did I realize that one more dominant could keep another with the thoughts and manipulations that they were mated when they weren't. Was it something to do with an older, more experienced person and the newer one just felt that connection because of venom? _

_But there was also the fact that Carlisle and Alice didn't know who changed them and both are seemingly happily mated. Perhaps if they were to come across the one whom changed them they would feel some kind of pull? _

_But if that were also true, Rosalie, Emmett, and I would feel a pull towards Carlisle. _

_And I feel zero pull to Carlisle other than a friendship or kinship with him- with any of them. Rosalie feels even less than that. Emmett and Rosalie only feel strongly for each other. They have no issue coming and going... I stay because-_

_Well, I don't know why I stay. _

_Perhaps it's because it's just easier that way?_

_I pull my thoughts away from the concept of mating and try to pick it out from Alice's head, but she seems to block me as best as she can. _

_From what I see it won't be for a while. _

_Alice's eyes meet mine and she gives me a soft nod as if she read my thoughts. _

_She probably saw me asking._

_She gives another nod._

"_Can you stop doing that secret conversation? It's really annoying." Rosalie spits and I honestly forgot she was even there. _

_I slink back in my chair but can see Alice's amusement as she explains to Rosalie that I was going to inquire on my mate. _

_Rosalie instantly rolls her eyes, bored._

_I think Alice said that on purpose because instantly I see Emmett bound up from the floor and start hammering out questions pertaining to all things sexual in nature with mating._

_Looking at Jasper I can see his eyes roll as his thoughts go back to his history. _

_I watch since it's vastly more interesting than Emmett._

.

_Jasper dismissed his comment. "Did you know that you're marked?" Jasper mirrored Julio's same conversation._

"_Marked?" Aaron faltered, but recovered, fists clenched._

"_Yessir', "The rouge on your neck…" He lifted his hand to point to Aaron's left. "It's a mark that Maria gives those she wishes exterminated. Look if you want."_

_Aaron didn't need to see it. Her spicy scent saturated his mind; it was all over his skin and her words still whispered in his mind. He knew Jasper was jealous of their relationship. He knew that Jasper had tried to win over Maria, to no avail. But the words still bit at him. Aaron stammered, unmoving, remembering how she kissed his neck, how she pleased him with her mouth, he loved her mouth on him. He had given himself to her, made love to her, soft and smooth. He relished in these feelings._

_Aaron loved watching her being pleased by his touch, by his body._

"_I apologize that I had not taught you well enough, Aaron." Jasper said as he shook his head, deeply sorrowed and took a step forward. Aaron's hands lifted defensively, but Jasper ignored it._

"_Yer jealous!" he said body rigid and one hand pointing, "Yer just tryin' to get me to turn against her!"_

"_No. I just know the game." Jasper sighed deeply, calm. "Aaron, think about how many people-"_

_There was so much pain warring within him with his anger and jealousy, "She said… she said I'm her mate."_

"_I doubt that she said that. Besides, wasn't I supposed to be her mate?"_

"_You use her!" Aaron was yelling and causing a scene around the camp._

"_You and I both know I don't use her, Aaron. It's another manipulation. She wants you to think that way. She wants your submission… your death. She marked you-"_

"_She marked you, too." Aaron seethed. "I saw you wipe it off."_

_He was right. Jasper couldn't argue._

"_Perhaps she wishes for us to destroy each other?" Jasper mused, smirking. "Perhaps you could just leave and save yourself."_

_That sent him over the edge. His eyes were feral._

"_She is my mate. I will not leave her."_

_Aaron's reaction was commendable, yet dense to reality. Jasper had seen this countless times. It was getting old._

"_She is everyone's mate," Jasper scoffed, watching Aaron carefully, "even if it was just for a moment. Who do you reckon is in with her now?"_

_That was all it took._

_Aaron lunged for Jasper, twisting through the air with the same moves that Jasper had taught him, it was unfortunate and made defending himself simple. Jasper turned away, quickly grasping Aaron's neck and threw him to the ground. The ground quaked, loudly, as birds in the distance squawked their annoyance as they flew away._

_Aaron lay decapitated on the ground._

_"Such a waste of life," Jasper said in a murmur and then distress and anxiety pulsed through him at the word, life. Countless faces filtered through his mind, so- so many… destroyed. _

_By him._

_It needed to end._

_Slowly, he looked around him; taking in the sporadic homes and tents that littered Maria's land. His soldiers, some friends, most of them were newborns or slightly older and many of them had mates… true lovers. All were created for her, for her greed, power and control._

_The wind rustled through his hair, it was cool, crisp. He looked up at the horizon at the purple pastel colors painting the grass, teasing it with light. It was close to dawn. He fumbled with his front pocket, pulled out the small hand rolled cigarette and held it between his lips. Cupping it with his hand, he lit it, breathing in the warmth before the smoke settled in his empty lungs. He flicked the cigarette onto the pyre and after a few moments, flames licked at Aaron's marble skin as little finger plumes of purple smoke danced upward to the sky. It could almost be poetically construed that it was as if Aaron's soul was lifting into the heavens as his ashes seeped back into Hell._

_Soul._

.

_"Jasper-" She smiled coolly moving a step closer._

_"No Maria. You cannot seduce me. I have not felt anythin' but hatred for you in years. To me, you're just a whore. I should have left with Peter and Charlotte two years ago."_

_"I am no whore!" She spat. Her arms lifted defensively into a crouch and he mirrored her actions, again welcoming the challenge._

_"Now Maria," Jasper scolded, smiling. "You'll bed anything that moves. But you don't get paid for your sex, do you? Perhaps whore is too kind a word then." He wanted to taunt her as he matched her steps with his own; it was a wicked dance with the devil. "Perhaps __harlot__ is more fittin'?" He mused._

_"You defile me with words?" Maria lunged at him as he laughed at her actions, taunting her with his own._

_"I'm sorry. I apologize that I've resorted to name callin' as I expect it's all I know ya to be. You're only power, perhaps, is that you're only use is as a succubus and I apologize for ever thinkin' more of ya."_

_She growled at him so he continued, "You're a shell of a woman… perhaps the only way you can feel, is when you're filled with a cock. Perhaps that is why you need to filled so often. If I had realized that's all you were, I'd have left a long time ago."_

_"This is a silly game you play with me now," But she was seething inside, barely able to contain her anger. It radiated off of her._

_"Is it now?" He scoffed._

_"You think you'll find someone to love you? Look at your body, filled of scars. They will fear you, Jasper. You do not deserve love."_

_"Now ya see? That's none of your concern." He smiled, yet her words had touched a nerve. "I feel sorry for you, Maria, I really do."_

_Maria hissed, "Sorry for me?" her hair flaring like a lion's man in motion, her claws recoiled into her hands in anger as she moved in a semi-circle in their continual dance for the upper hand._

_But Jasper just smiled. "Yes, you've killed or have had me kill those who have loved you. But you will never __feel__ real love. You are an empty vessel of a being. A soulless queen of the damned, and after I leave here, there will be no one to left to protect you from the others. They know your history. They'll come after you. They'll demand their freedom, even if it means to destroy you to get it. Your reign of terror is over, Maria."_

_"You're a bastard!"_

_He stared at her calmly, shaking his head with disapproval as if he was reprimanding a child, "Now who's callin' names oh, treacherous one? The coven knows I don't matter to ya and they know they don't matter neither."_

_"I will send out units to destroy your beloved friends, Peter and his mate, again, Jasper." She smiled at her threat that for so long caused him to back down to her, but not today. He felt another wave of urgency as if fate was demanding his departure._

_"No need, they are on their way here."_

_"I will kill them if they come."_

_"You may try, Maria," He nodded, "you may try… as they expect you will. They'll be ready. The whole coven will be ready. I'm leavin'."_

_Maria's eyes searched him, he thought he saw a flicker of fear momentarily, but she was so good at shielding her emotions, if she had a sincere emotion, that they were easily covered within her mask._

_"I will not let you leave, Jasper."_

_He tipped his hat to her and smiled, still moving in their dance, "Now darlin', you ain't got no choice in the matter," He straightened his form for a moment, playing with a silver jewel case on her chest of drawers and smiled his devilish grin as her eyes narrowed on him. She was about to say something snide when there was a commotion vehicles and then talking outside, but neither Jasper nor Maria acknowledged the disturbance, both waiting for the other to attack at any moment._

_"Darlin', I think you got company. Perhaps you should welcome them the way you usually do… by openin' your thighs."_

_Maria sneered, her lip twitching. She was not one to allow trespassers on her property but she was not one to back down, especially from Jasper._

_"Go to them!" She thrashed her arm in the air, pointing her finger at the door._

_He shook his head; the blond waves softly followed the gesture. "Not my guests. Not my claim. Not my home. Not my mate. Not my problem."_

.

"_I want to hunt the Alligators!" Emmett boasted as Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I heard of the Cajun's down south. We should go this winter."_

_Instantly, I was brought out of Jasper's memories with Emmett's booming voice. I watched Alice scrunch her nose at the thought. "My alligator wrestling days are over Emmett, but you go on ahead." She laughed. _

_In an instant I could see some thoughts and fantasies about Alice wrestling alligators caked in mud flowing through Jasper's mind and I quickly stop my writing to give him a blank stare._

_He smirks. _

_I moved from the room without another word and stepped out the back door towards my little stone cabin, journal in hand. _

_The prairie and lake always made me think of Marie. I can't help seeing her taking a long walk around the meadow as if she was memorizing every inch of it, plucking the flowers and sliding the prettiest ones in her hair._

_-EAMC_

.

Bella gave a long sigh before she grabbed up a cookie. She couldn't even guess how many she had throughout the day, but it probably didn't matter. It was curbing her appetite a bit and would hold her out until dinner.

She turned the page and saw the next entry.

.

_I don't know what was worse. _

_Is it worse not having a mate for a hundred years- yet not really seeking her out, either? Or was it worse having a relationship with a perceived "mate" for over eighty years and have them use, abuse, and withhold affection to a person gifted with empathy? _

_It was something that took me around my small pond three times as I contemplated it and as I write it- I still have no real answer. _

_All I can consider is that I will wait for her- as Alice waited for Jasper. _

_She only had to wait a couple decades, at least._

_-EAMC_

.

"_Hello brother," Alice grins from behind a tree. She's clearly not used to my mind reading as I could hear her thoughts of surprising me just as she ducked into the forest. "Walk with me?"_

"_What about Jasper?"_

_She scoffs. "It's not like that. We trust each other. He knows I've been waiting to talk to you for years."_

_It was a foggy day and we moved through the forest easily without worry about needing any cover. It was that sense of freedom, perhaps, that kept us here long after we should've left. _

_But we'd go soon; I could see it all play out in Alice's mind._

_That wasn't what she wanted to talk about. _

"_I need your help." Alice stops and I pause with her waiting for her to continue. "I can't remember before I was changed. The memories are blotchy at best. I was hoping you could help me put them together more. Find my family someday?"_

"_Sure," I give her a nod and she's thrilled, trilling along about fate and how we're destined to be a great family but wonderful friends. I get lost in her thoughts and words easy and it's a welcome distraction._

"_What do you remember, but without you waking up changed."_

_Memories flow in flashes and I tell her to concentrate on one as I write it down. _

_._

_Alice slipped into the private sanatorium without anyone really noticing. She resembled an unkempt patient and no one was willing to acknowledge her and thus be responsible for her care._

_She padded over the cold floor, down the hall and into a linen closet. She pulled out some fresh linens and a nurse uniform. Carefully, she closed the door. She shimmied quickly down the hall and ducked into a room, shutting herself in._

_Ten seconds… male walks into the room… brunette will walk in 2 minutes later__. She saw the pictures clearly, knowing that she needed to find a place to hide Alice searched frantically only seeing the exit and the closet. She was trapped._

_The closet door closed just as the other opened._

"_This room needs to be prepared for another patient."_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Did you have a question?"_

"_Pardon me, but is it true she's gone missing?"_

"_The patient has been discharged._"

_The voices were just outside the door. Alice listened, thinking they must be talking about her._

_"Yes, of course." Meg knew the orderly must have been lying. Her eyebrows drew together in judgment but bit at her cheeks in silence and walked into the room. It felt warring with an odd scent in it. She knew she shouldn't linger too long._

_"I'm sorry, but-" Meg said but the man lifted a hand to silence her._

_"I have other matters to attend to," he said the nurse._ "_Like disposing of an unearthly demon needing to be burned." He laughed as Meg's face contorted in fear. "Kidding, doll." But Alice knew he wasn't. Alice could see the twitching remains that moved within the bag that contained him_. It was the same one whom begged him to save Alice by placing her in solitary.

_He remembered his friend going in after her, apologizing, trying to sooth her cries and watched as he bit the patient on her neck, then licked the wound. It seemed to disappear before his eyes._

_With a gasp from the orderly, the male looked up at him, narrowed his odd golden eyes and hissed his warning._

_The orderly stepped back, listening to the girls shrieking cries, as the male kissed her lips and left._

_He didn't want to understand. His mind was already polluted with images he'd never forget, so he just locked in the screaming girl, who seemed to be writhing in pain, in the room._

_There was commotion in another room, warranting his attention and as he ran toward it, he felt rock hard arms grab him and pull him into another patient's room. The woman was mumbling what sounded like "hello demon", but overall ignored their presence._

_He would not forget his friend's eyes. They were full of fear._

"_You need to check on her!" he demanded, bruising the orderly on his chest with his unworldly strength, "He's coming for her, but I've already changed her. She will be different when she comes out of it… be wary of her so she won't kill you. She shouldn't… she shouldn't kill you." The man shook his head as if he were trying to convince himself of that._

_There were screams just beyond the room as if something was searching for someone and his friend turned from the door, back to him._

"_Promise me. You'll take care of her, promise me you'll get her out of here?"_

_The orderly nodded and his friend pulled out his wallet filled with bills. "Give this to her. I tried to help her. Tried to save her from him… I am so sorry."_

_His friend released his shirt completely as if he heard something that the orderly didn't and steeled himself for an unseen attack._

_._

_Did you get a good look at him?" Alice asks me but I shake my head. Somehow she's blocked the golden eyed man out._

_The visions continue._

_._

_That is when the door splinters before them. There was a monster, a true demon shaped as a human with blonde hair and blood red eyes. He was fuming hatred. The orderly watched as his head cocked back smelling the air with enlarged nostrils as he lowered his glare at them._

_The female patient rocked herself steadily mumbling her chilling greetings with acute anxiety, "Hello demon, hello demon, hello demon…"_

_His friend stood rigid against the demon._

"_Where is she?" The demon seethed._

_The orderly watched his friend cock his head before he crouched at the demon, hissing._

"_You changed her." the demon snickered, "You changed her to keep me from her?" He laughed but couldn't hide his anger. The demon wanted to possess the little intuitive human, use her… take her. He would have to find someone else. He growled._

"_You brought a snack." The demon mused looking now at the orderly. He licked his lips as the patient stilled her movements._

_._

_I stared at Alice as she stared back at me._

"_Anything?" She asked in her mind. I gave a curt shake of the head. _

_I could see me asking for her to continue and she did without me asking. This was a convenient gift._

.

_Alice frowned. She couldn't fathom killing someone. She could see each one of their lives stretched out in front of them, then without notice she would imagine how they would taste if she were to attack them, and that life would be gone._

_Dead._

_By her._

_She wasn't a murderer, but as her visions turned more grotesque and violent, she worried that maybe she really was._

_Maybe that is why she was held away from everyone and everything. Maybe that's why she didn't have a name or a family, or even a previous life that she could recall. Maybe she was a demon from Hell to prey on people__?_

_She felt like crying but no tears ever came._

_"__Maybe demons can't cry__," she mused, putting her hand on her chest, but there was no longer the thump or noise of each pump. "And __maybe demons don't have heartbeats?"__ Her body toppled over with tearless sobs. She didn't know if she could take being a demon._

_Sometime later she sighed; she wouldn't think about it, too much, she decided. Her crying was nonproductive and wasted time. She pulled the suitcase up to sit atop the table, opened it, and pulled the dresses out of the case. She needed to make something out of these dresses before she went back down to find out when she'd start her job. She needed money. She needed clothes and shoes and…_

_Blood. _

_A vision of a family in the woods near Canada hugging her as she opened the door suddenly came to mind. There was a man next to her, holding her hand and only had love for her in his eyes. Her mate. The family was like her, but their eyes were not red, but gold. She saw them all happily hunting animals together, avoiding eating humans._

_That night, she found herself sucking her alligators dry._

_Demons didn't sleep, anyway._

_._

_The vision shifted._

_._

_The orderly quickly left the nurse in the room alone._

_Meg glanced behind her nervously but she couldn't see anything there. __It's in your head Meg__ she chided herself with a frown. She had had that feeling continually since her conversation with Victoria that morning but as the afternoon air twisted around her and the birds chirped their nightly songs she dismissed the feelings along with the ominous feeling of being watched._

_Soon she looked out the window of the patient that had gone missing. It had befallen on her to go change the bedding to allow another patient, but Meg still wondered what had happened to her since she had left solitary._

_It was as if she was an apparition to the place, now. _

_One of many._

_But Meg decided that the girl's life would not be in vain. She planned on seeking the doctor that day to issue a proper death certificate and even possibly a headstone. Otherwise it was entirely possible it would be swept under the rug and soon forgotten._

_She wouldn't forget._

_._

_A headstone flashed in my mind for a moment and we could see the blurry blocked letters together, at the same time. _

_Alice gasped, clapping her hands._

"_It's coming back?" _

"_I'm not sure. Was that a memory? Did you see the headstone yourself or did you see it in the mind of the nurse, Meg?"_

_Alice paused for a moment. _

"_I didn't go back there so I didn't see it."_

_I nodded and watched as that moment played through her mind from the nurse's mind over and over but it was blurry._

"_What about the file she holds?"_

_Alice gasped and closed her eyes, concentrating, but there wasn't much there either. I continue to write it all out in case there's some clue we're missing._

_._

_With a sigh Meg remembered what she should be doing. It was nearly dusk and she needed to start preparing for home. There was a clicking noise and Meg turned slightly as if she heard the door, feeling haunted or watched, but there didn't seem to be anyone._

_With a heavy sigh and a shake of her head Meg moved out of the room with the sheets and the file that was the only thing left of the small girl with kind eyes. Meg rolled the sheets up to her chest which was heavy with sadness._

_"Good bye Mary-Alice," she whispered and swiftly left the room._

_. _

_I write "Mary-Alice" down as the name soaks into Alice's mind and falls from her lips. I don't see any memory triggering with the name. _

"_We were probably going to have to go back to the asylum someday." I tell her._

_Almost instantly, the visions change in Alice's mind. We both watch as she sees us walking through the graveyard. _

_._

_There are countless plots, none of which seemed to resonate with Alice, nor looked like the stone in her head. Emmett is jumping from stone to stone as Rosalie wanders the plots with Esme. Carlisle is inside the abandoned Asylum looking for any clues from the archives. Jasper wandered off into the nearby woods. He sees a small number of plots just beyond the tree line. It was overgrown and forgotten, but it was there._

_BRANDON_

Mary-Alice

1901-1920

Biloxi, Mississippi

_Jasper calls us over and we look at the headstone knowing the plot below it is empty. _

_Alice looks at the headstone, but there are no memories that flow from her mind, just darkness._

_._

"_So we don't have to go there for your visions to provide clues?" I ask curiously. _

"_I see us going, yes. Probably once we move again. But we have some information to start."_

"_I want to go to northern California." I say, but any visions of the move there are carefully blocked with musical lyrics. I can't hide my frustration and she senses it instantly. _

"_It's not time." She whispers. "Soon."_

"_How soon?"_

"_A couple more decades should do it." She giggles. But I fail to see what's so funny. "Look, you're mate isn't even born yet, Edward. You have a wait ahead of you, for sure. I'm sorry."_

"_Give me something?"_

_Alice closes her eyes and I can see a blurry vision of my quilt around a woman with long brown hair sitting in the library it then shifts to a run through the woods where it's cut off._

"_It could all change with a different choice." She says softly. "Even though we just met, please trust me."_

_I nod and we both stand. _

"_I'll help you find her, just as you helped me find myself."_

_I laugh, shaking my head at how quirky our new sister is. _

"_How do you feel about the Stock Market?" _

"_I have some ideas."_

"_Excellent!" She jumps up, clapping her hands together. "Let's tell the family it's time for a move to New York!"_

_-EAMC_

_._

_A/N: Thank you for reading and your kind reviews. I hope you're all doing well. _

_There may be a bit more here and there about Alice and other Cullen backgrounds but it's for historical insight and it helps Bella understand the pasts of her new family as she learns about them. _


	13. Chapter 13

.

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 13

.

Bella sighed as she stuffed a small piece of paper into the journal to hold her place before she shut it. Her mind raced with Alice's words.

Edward knew about her before she was even born.

He knew that someday she'd be sitting next to the fire wrapped up in Edward's quilt.

The quilt that he gave Marie… Bella's grandmother.

The quilt that Renee lost-but they somehow found.

Alice.

Which means the Cullen's had been tracking her mother's side of the family for quite some time, right?

Had they been to Marie's funeral?

Was Carlisle a doctor at the hospital where Bella was born?

She couldn't know, but she wouldn't be surprised if he was! After all, the Cullen's probably wouldn't have strayed too far.

Bella rose from the seat in the parlor and wandered around. It looked like there used to be art that lined the walls, which had been removed.

What pictures did they once occupy?

Had they done that on purpose?

When she turned again though, a man stood just inside the door.

"It's taking everything in me not to tackle hug you right now, little sister."

_Little sister_.

The words made her smile. "You must be Emmett."

He nodded. "Welcome to the family, swan girl."

Bella sat in awe of Emmett. He stood, teetering on his heels with a large, playful grin.

"_Family,"_ She repeated, which only made his grin widen. Bella swallowed the emotions down. "You want me to be part of your family?"

"You've been part of our family since the moment you were born." He held a new journal out for her to grasp and gave a large grin. "Hopefully, you won't think of us as being a little… stalker-ish… as you read this."

Bella nodded absently, all of her attention instantly absorbed into the journal in her hand until Emmett broke the silence.

"Ready for a new room?"

"How many rooms does this place have?"

"Enough," He winked. "Come on."

Emmett took Bella from the empty parlor, back through the kitchen where he they saw Alice and Esme making her food. They grinned kindly, as if they've seen her a thousand times. Alice gave a small wave and a knowing wink.

Bella then saw that Jasper was at the table. She stumbled a little as the man grinned showing all of his sharp teeth and she could see the scars of silvery bites that lined his neck and arms. He sat tilted back in his chair with his legs crossed at the ankles on the table. His old cowboy boots looked like they were at least a hundred years old.

"Darlin'," he greeted her with a tap on his well-worn hat.

"Hello," Bella whispered back, watching Jasper's wide grin turn into a smirk.

"Come on," Emmett chucked. Bella followed Emmett opened a hidden door within the wall of the kitchen and was met with set of stairs leading up. A gas lit candle sconce bloomed bright with a strong flame as it was motion activated. Lights lit up the stairway while the rest of the room remained in shadows.

Something moved out of the corner of her eye but as Bella turned to look, the light on the sconce faded until the flame smothered out.

"I think you'll like this room. It doesn't have the street views like the other side of the building and faces the park. I hope you don't mind, but we've moved your belongings there for you already."

"My belongings?"

Emmett nodded. "Yep."

"From my apartment."

"Blame Alice, but she saw some people about to break into it last night. It was one of the reasons why you're here now. There's not much to go back to now."

"But I've only been here one night-"

"Doesn't take long for people to notice when someone isn't there. I'm just glad you weren't there when they were," Emmett sighed ominously, but his features darkened with a spark of seething anger. "And don't worry about the lease. Esme and Alice went down to settle it this morning,"

Bella didn't feel need to say there wasn't much left on the lease as it was. Oddly enough, she was actually glad to be done with it all. The Cullen home has felt more like home since she walked through the door.

But it was then that the journals reminded her of this kind of situation before.

Carlisle settling Edward's affairs after his change as they did with Rose, Emmet and their respective families.

"And file my missing person paperwork?"

Emmett didn't need to confirm what she already knew.

She could guess the break in was a good enough excuse as any.

Her father would probably look into the case, if allowed, and contact Renee someday thereafter.

Bella could remember a missing person that graduated a couple years before her on her father's desk.

His name was Riley Biers and grew up and still had family in Forks.

She could remember seeing him once at the book store. He looked… different. Radiant, with sharper features and his brown eyes seemed to glow in gold hues much like the Cullen's. When she was about to say something to Charlie who was just around the next bookcase, Riley put a finger to his mouth in a motion known for secrecy. She nodded and he smiled before he seemed to just disappear… much like Bella has seen the Cullen's move around their home.

The bookstore door whipped open just seconds after and she never saw him again.

"Riley Biers is one of you and was, let me guess, checking on me?" Bella huffed.

Emmett nodded again, "He was changed in Seattle by his mate, Victoria and did check on you as a favor. We had no idea that you'd recognize him."

"His mate? Victoria? I've heard that name before."

"Yes, his mate, Victoria," Emmett scoffed as he opened the door that was at the top of the stairs. She could see down the hall several other doors that were closed. "You're clever."

"The same Victoria in the journals? She's in Alice's memories. She was a nurse in the psych ward."

"Yes, and you may recall James in those memoirs, too."

"James?" Bella followed Emmett into the room and saw the whole room was filled with books. It seemed like a miniature version of the library.

"James tried to form a bond with Victoria as his mate, but there was not a great mating connection. He then tried to change Alice, but there was another, unknown vampire who beat him to it and she left before he could track her."

"James didn't change Victoria after their date?"

"Not that I know of, but they don't communicate with us often- if at all. When we went down to wrestle alligators-"

Bella giggled, remembering that part of the journals when Alice was first changed.

"-in the Louisiana bayous, we saw James. He was mated to some free spirit down there from Maria's Texas Coven. Her name was Lucy. Neither are Jasper's favorite people for obvious reasons," He chuckled. "Anyway, this door leads to a shared bathroom. If you want to go into the main house, go out the way you came in and follow the stairs down into the kitchen. The bedroom suite is through those doors, there."

Bella nodded as she noticed her couch sat up against a series of fold-away doors that were made of glass. Through them, she could see her bed and bedroom furniture. Her clothes sat in open suitcases next to a large wardrobe.

Swallowing the emotion down, Bella nodded in understanding.

"So, take a look around and make yourself at home. Your dinner will be ready in about an hour on the terrace."

"Okay, thank you, Emmett." Bella was so busy taking her new room in that she didn't notice Emmett had left until the door clicked shut.

She walked into the bathroom and gasped as she was met with a large window of stained glass. It depicted a familiar scene with a swan swimming in the middle of a pearly lake. There were evergreens in the background and a small house that seemed to almost disappear into the trees. Smoky pillowed upward towards large white clouds.

"Beautiful," Bella whispered.

"It's our home in Forks."

Bella twisted and saw Edward standing in the doorway of a door that was opposite hers.

"Hi, Bella."

"Edward," Bella gasped. She couldn't believe he was finally standing in front of her.

He nodded softly in confirmation.

So many emotions bubbled to the surface at once, flooding her skin with her blush but she managed a small greeting in kind. He was really there, before her, and standing in plain sight.

"Would you like to accompany me on the terrace for dinner?"

"You eat," she said dumbly, "I mean, you're going to eat, too?"

Edward chuckled darkly. He pushed himself off the door jamb he was leaning on and moved closer to her slowly. When he reached her (which felt like seconds and forever at once) her heart beat wildly when he leaned close enough for his nose to barely touch her cheek.

Heat radiated off of her in waves.

Edward then dipped down to her neck with lips grazing the surface as he took in her divine scent. "Are you offering?"

"Oh," Bella gasped as his fingers teetered softly over her lips, feeling the soft flesh.

Edward chuckled again, the vibration reverberating over her body. It was then that she realized that how close they were. They were like magnets, with warm energy pulsing between them.

When he finally put some distance between them, she was left beseeching. It was as if her body wanted to follow him by instinct.

"We have a lot of time to get to know each other a little better," Edward winked. "Was that a yes to dinner?"

"Yes," Bella smiled softly.

"I'll see you in an hour then, just though there," Edward pointed passed Bella's bed to the glassy doors. She could see the dusky skyline of trees and skyscrapers just outside the windows.

He grinned widely and then in a low, monotone voice, he sang, "_Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor. Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender. Turn your face away from the garish light of day, turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light, and listen to the music of the night... Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams, purge your thoughts of the life you knew before. Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar, and live, as you never lived before…"_

Edward closed his door, leaving Bella standing there in his wake.

A fire was lit within her and it was going to be torture waiting to see him in again.

.

A/N: Thank you for keeping with this fic! I've been working so much lately so I try to write on my days off. Hope all is well with you and thank you kindly for reading and reviewing.

Quote borrowed from Phantom of the Opera (Andrew Lloyd Webber, movie/ musical)

According to Twi-wiki, Vic was changed in the 1500's.. not by James.  
Lucy is from the Texas Army coven, Maria's coven. I never felt James and Victoria were well suited, so in this fic, they deviate from that mated pair. If you remember, she says, "Lovely. And an officer." Regarding Jasper in the movie.


	14. Chapter 14

.

The Journals

By: Everleigh Allen

Chapter 14

.

Bella stood in the middle of her new room for several more moments. Her body felt flush as if it was set aflame by Edward's simple touch. Like wildfire, coursing through her body- her soul, and veered headfirst after him.

Her feet, ever her adversary, chose this moment to be rooted to the floor.

She eyed the journal and moved forward towards it, instead.

There was a small, worn slip of paper torn from a book that held a place in a journal. Bella opened it up carefully, noticing that it still saved the spot where she realized that they knew about her and her arrival in Forks.

"_At least let me see her before I have to leave her behind," _ Bella reread Edward's words, breaking her heart all over again, but she continued.

_Alice gives a curt nod and I see my family leaving the room._

_I, like always, am left there alone._

_-EAMC_

_April, 2017_

"_Edward's emo again," Emmett huffs. I roll my eyes and do my best to ignore him. Emmett carts the insanely large cross that Carlisle kept laying around the house out the front door and into the moving truck. _

_It belonged in a church, not a house, but alas._

_There was a debate within the family about where it came from and how it even got there, but the most we could figure from mind reading the ancient memories that Carlisle did well to keep locked away most of the time- was that he took it from the church that his father was a pastor during the European vampire wars in the 1600's. _

_Perhaps it was endearing and sentimental at one point, but Edward couldn't see Carlisle housing the cross in Volterra, either. It had to have been well stored away in secret for some time. _

_Some of our family and relations think the cross is a reminder to remember who he was, the son of an Anglican pastor during the time of political and religious upheaval. They think he chooses to believe it represents a faithful, humane, (and a nod to his overly empathetic-to-humans side) but I have seen a different side of Carlisle, one buried so deep that every time it rises to the surface he quickly looks at me- instantly repudiating it. _

_Carlisle hides it well._

_But it's there in all of us. _

_It's our nature._

_A cross to bear. _

_Only he, Aro, and I know the truth about the cross. The extent of the crusades of werewolf and vampire hunting and how that cross bore a stained spot in all of it is a secret well kept. _

_Carlisle's father, a devoutly religious albeit vicious man, had killed countless souls in his wake that when he was finally caught, disemboweled, and quartered, they let every vampire take a swatch of the tainted, bloodied clothe. That cross is the same cross that once held his father's robes, drenched in his blood as a warning to humans and vampires alike._

_Carlisle was no exception to the brutality of either side. The mob searched for him, wanting to appease the pain and death casted by Carlisle's father's hand. They came for him with their torches lit and screaming for him to resurface from the bowels of London. He watched them from afar, writhing in the pain of his transformation._

_One vampire, the stranger whom changed him, hid him just enough to bear witness to the hostilities of the mob mentality. _

_Once he was reborn into his new life, there was an acceptance- and perhaps an atonement of his father's sins. He vowed to be different. _

_He wouldn't feed off of humans; there had to be another way. _

_Carlisle couldn't- wouldn't save his father and that clothe was the very last piece of his father's human existence- his human existence- and it served reverence of lessons learned._

"_Earth to Edward-" Rosalie hisses, waving a hand over my line of vision._

Bella could see the where the ink pooled, drenching the page and smiled, running her finger over it as if it just happened.

"_Let's go, one last time, yeah?" Alice says softly, carefully. _

_It's the moment I've been waiting for and dreading the whole time- my whole existence._

_Yes, Bella would be safer away from me, but would this time suspend or be forever fractured for me? _

_I feel the cut deeply. _

_I give Alice a curt nod, not that she needs to see it. _

_I want to touch Bella, smell her sweet fragrant blood but each thought is combatted with a new vision from Alice and they all end up with Bella dead._

"_Stop torturing yourself, brother," she pleads._

_No one is better at torturing myself than me. _

_I hear Jasper's words in my mind, but what he really means is that I am also torturing him. _

_The feeling of her blood, the sweet ambrosia that made mere humans into Gods taunts him, too. _

"_Sorry," I mumble. _

"_You weren't going to do anything," Alice's sing song voice says casually to Jasper. It's a second nature comment that she doesn't always realize she says, but on some level it calms Jasper and so it continues._

_._

_I see the police cruiser driving through town. _

_They are stopped at a light and there's a lull in their conversations. I can hear Charlie's mind fluttering about thinking of things to say, but he doesn't say anything substantial, if at all. _

_We knew from the buzz around school she would start at the beginning of the week. The boys at the school were excited and curious to see the new girl but there were more than a few girls that couldn't help feel the threat and delicious drama of a rivalry. _

_We watch the cruiser pass the town's large wooden welcome sign, the wooden grizzly bear, and a logging truck before they turn down the street to Charlie Swan's house._

"_Okay, we have almost an hour before they'll head to the diner." Alice informs the group. _

_Esme smiles kindly but she exudes care and sympathy. "Carlisle had to leave me, too, once. It's not forever, son."_

"_And he found you almost dead," I remind her. It comes out more bitter than I meant but I know I'm already forgiven. _

_I apologize anyway._

"_It's the best way we've seen," Carlisle chides gently._

_I don't need the reminder. _

_I know Bella Swan Death Wish is a reoccurring event while we remain there. _

_I can't help but want time to move faster to see her- but slow time down once I do. _

_What they don't know is that I plan on visiting silently to check in on her from time to time._

_Alice sighs._

_She won't stop me._

"_I won't interfere," I promise and she doesn't believe me but nods anyway. With how she and Jasper orbit each other, she knows that she wouldn't be able to stay away either._

"_Let's go withdraw our children from school then we'll go to the diner," Carlisle suggests since we have time. His memories fold into thoughts of Marie and Annie Belle in the same diner all those years back. _

_It takes less than twenty minutes to have transcripts transferred, our belongings to be collected, and leave the school. _

_It was as if we never existed._

_The drive back to the diner was quiet and I felt a bit of relief when I saw the cruiser already parked in the lot. I parked my car right next to it- smelling the air around the car for Bella's scent. _

"_Like an animal in heat," Rosalie mutters, looking away but her thoughts are sympathetic. She doesn't want to leave any more than I do. Her thoughts then circle around the notion of being separated from Emmett and she shudders._

_They get it._

_We avoid the table that Bella and the Chief sit at and move around them silently. Bella's holding the menu, blocking her face from my view. I bump her chair on accident- on purpose- causing her to look up at me. _

"_Sorry," I say with a smile._

_She gasps but says nothing. _

_She just stares._

_I take my seat and pick up my own menu while maintaining eye contact, unwilling- or unable to break it. _

_I couldn't be more obvious but I can't help it._

_I force the menu between our gaze, hoping it was enough to leave an impression on her._

Time rewinds in Bella's mind… The odd, beatific family that moved through the diner that first day.

How had she forgotten them until now?

Bella stared at Edward's words, remembering the one- the odd one out- staring at her so intently she was barely able to breathe, let alone eat.

She remembered him.

His hair styled messily on top of his head, sides cut short. His wool jacket and boots that seemed too heavy when he walked over the tiled floor.

She remembered the stunning blonde girl and the girl with choppy black hair- both were staring at her.

The mother figure gave a small greeting to them which caused Charlie to blush.

None of them ate any of the food they ordered.

And as Charlie ate his pie and then paid, Edward felt antsy as his time was running short.

They all rose at the same time to leave, the Swan's and Cullen's.

She remembered the one named Edward moved fast through the diner as if he was upset.

A piece of paper fell from his pocket and onto the floor.

Bella picked it up.

She read it.

She reread it in the car and over and over in the quiet of her room.

How had she forgotten?

The night was warm and she left the window open, hoping to hear the owls, but there was only silence.

She held the paper as she slept that night, dreamt of him and his intense stare.

She dreamt of herself, as Christine, taken with the Phantom as he tried to seduce her… the paper's printed quote fresh in mind and in dream:

"_Too many years fighting back tears. Why can't the past just die? Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye. Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try! No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years. Help me say goodbye." _

When she woke the next morning, the note was gone.

Her window was shut.

The quote long forgotten.

The memory of the odd boy and his family at the diner shifted towards the back of her subconscious as she readied herself for her first day of school.

But as Bella sat in her new room in the warmth of the Cullen's Chicago home, Bella looked back at the slip of paper. This time, she turned it over and she could see the faint, well-worn typing of the quote written there.

Edward had been there- in her room and in her mind.

He was there in the dream- except, what if it wasn't really a dream at all?

What if it was a goodbye?

What if it wasn't really a goodbye- but more like a promise of reconnecting?

He left the note when he was struggling to leave her behind and her heartache at how that must have felt for him.

Bella reread the words again, her heart thundering in her chest as if he was singing the words to her as she slept.

But when she looked up from the note, Edward stood there like the Phantom himself murmuring the words as she recited them, too.

Then, before she could blink he was before her his body aligned with hers as he whispered new words… another eerily beautiful quote:

"_Passing bells and sculpted angels  
Cold and monumental  
Seem for you the wrong companions  
You were warm and gentle." _

Whispered words sang gently in her ear, describing them perfectly.

His hand cups her cheek on one side, caressing the other.

She leans into his touch, trusting, and says, "_Wildly my Mind beats against you, but my soul obeys_."

Edward tilts her head to touch his lips to hers, eyes wild and watching as the slight movements turn into a kiss. Eyes flutter closed as it is deepens, lips part and breaths exchange before touching again intensely, roughly.

He's waited too long for her, her touch, her kiss.

He'd wait forever for another.

But a small clearing of a throat fills their ears and they reluctantly part, seeking out the interruption.

"Time to feed the human," Alice giggles.

_._

_A/N: Sometimes I know exactly where the story goes and it takes a whole different journey on me. I don't try to fight it, perhaps a channel of sorts to a different universe within universes. Haha._

_Thanks for the understanding on the delay as I had a deadline to finish a painting that was most challenging and mentally and emotionally taxing. It'll be displayed publically by appointment only in Austin, TX this October. Woo hoo. _

_Quotes: "Too many years fighting back tears. Why can't the past just die? Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye. Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try! No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years. Help me say goodbye."  
"Passing bells and -sculpted angels, Cold and monumental, Seem for you the wrong companions, You were warm and gentle."_  
"Wildly my Mind beats against you, but my soul obeys."_ –Phantom of the Opera, _― Charles Hart, The Phantom of the Opera: Piano/Vocal


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